Showing posts with label essays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label essays. Show all posts

Monday, February 10, 2020

Rainy Winter

Began a dreary, rainy morning with breakfast and Press Your Luck. At least all three contestants did better than the ones I saw the other day. These actually had money after the first round. This time, it was down to an older man and a college student. The man hit a Whammy on his last turn, allowing the other guy to win a loveseat and a Hawaiian trip, among other prizes. Blockbusters was also pretty exciting, with that mother and daughter going up against a handsome young bartender. Many a female heart was broken when the women finally got past him.

Spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon writing that mall essay. I've never been much of a clothes person. My mother would want me to try on clothes when we went to the mall, but I'd rather spend time at Sam Goody's or Waldenbooks or B. Dalton Booksellers or anywhere else. I'm overweight, and it was hard to find plus sizes in all those silly little "hip" stores like Merry-Go-Round and County Seat. Bookstores, video stores, and music stores were not only more fun, but I easily found movies, books, and CDs there that I would have otherwise had to order from Columbia House before the advent of the internet.

When we ate at the Hamilton Mall, we'd actually go across the parking lot to Red Lobster. It was such a big deal. Sure, there's seafood restaurants in Cape May County, but none of them had tropical slush drinks that came in giant plastic cups or those incredible cheddar cheese biscuits. We always tried to sneak a few of those home with us. Once, Dad put the leftovers on the roof of the car before we left...and forgot they were there until we heard the "thump" shortly after turning onto the Atlantic City Expressway. The only food we retained from that trip was Rose's slice of key lime pie, which she kept with her and wouldn't let anyone else touch.

It was past 1:30 when I finally broke for lunch. On Linda Young's suggestion from the other day, I decided to give Molly of Denali a try on PBS Kids. Molly Mobray (Sovereign Bill) is an Alaskan native who lives in the fictional village of Qyah with her family and her best friends Tooey (Sequoia Janvier) and Trini (Vienna Leacock). In the first short, "Ice Sculpture," Aunt Midge (Adeline Potts) asks Molly's mother Layla (Jules Arita Koostachin) to join an ice sculpture contest, but she's too busy. Molly wants to see her mother make an ice carving, so she and her friends find a way to hold a carving contest right there in Qyah.

Molly's Uncle Jack tells the "Tale of the Totem" when her family comes to see his new version of a totem from 1940 erected. He intends to use special abalone shells to make the eyes extra special. When Molly and her cousin Randall accidentally lose one of the shells, they first turn to shops to find one, then Jack's wife Merna. But it turns out that Uncle Jack has a surprise in store for the kids...

I can see why Linda enjoyed this one so much. The lovely Alaskan setting and Molly's native heritage gives this show an edge that similar coming-of-age tales lack. It's really interesting to learn more about life for modern Alaskan residents and how they combine the traditions of the past with twenty first century technology like the internet. Molly herself is a delight, smart and fun and utterly determined. Absolutely nothing stops her from solving a problem, whether it's a lost shell or finding a source of light for their ice sculpture contest.

Even if you normally consider yourself to be way too old for PBS Kids fare, this unusual cartoon and its strong-willed little heroine are absolutely worth checking out.

The rain continued to fall steadily as I ate. I debated staying home, but finally just opted to grab my library book and coat and head out. It's supposed to rain all week, and I wasn't going to wait until Saturday to go to Haddon Township. Besides, there were a few other things I needed.

The Haddon Township Library was my first stop. Either the rain scared the adults off, or they all had work this week. The kids' DVDs weren't really full, but the adults racks were so stuffed, I couldn't get most of them on the shelves. Didn't take out movies this week - I'm still enjoying exploring online - but I did grab a soul-food based cozy mystery and Carter Beats the Devil, the story of a magician in the 1920's. I originally read Carter in the mid-2000's, shortly after I moved up here, but haven't read it since. Thought it was time I gave it another look.

Made a quick stop at Dollar Tree on the way home. Picked up sponges and a card for Jessa's birthday on Wednesday. As it was rush hour by this point, they had a line going into the aisle. Thank heavens a second register opened! I went in, got what I needed, and went out. The rain was still going as I went home; I just went home and got wet.

A package awaited me on Charlie's porch when I got home. Lauren told me last night she intended to send me a copy of Scrabble for Valentine's Day. We had so much fun playing Roll With It! last spring, she wanted to find other games we could play together. It's even the nifty "retro" version with the original 1949 cover.

Worked on writing after I changed into dry clothes. After Richard breaks for lunch (to Charles' disappointment), Charles joins Brett, Marcia, and Bill in the garden. All three try to ask Bill about their collective dream, but the little wolf hotly denies that they're any more than just the products of their subconsciousness.

Had leftovers for dinner at 7. Watched Sale of the Century while I ate. We had a new champ, a lady who managed to stay two steps ahead of the crowd for most of the game, even with buying one of the Instant Bargains and the Instant Cash game. She had no more luck with the Bonus Round than the previous winner, though...

Returned to Charlie's Angels after a shower. Tanya Roberts replaced Shelly Hack as Julie Rogers during the fifth and final season. She got to put her role as the most streetwise Angel to use in "Chorus Line Angels" when she goes undercover as an agent who gets her dancer, Kris (Jacklyn Smith) a role in a Vegas show trying out in LA. Kris poses as a reporter doing a story on the director putting the show together. The show's star and original choreographer vanished, and its backer wants the girls to figure out why. The new choreographer is disgusted by this, as Kelly has no experience, but she may not be the real problem...

Finished the night on YouTube. The guy who's been posting and cleaning up all the Match Game episodes strung together 25 of Orson Bean's most memorable appearances on the show, including the very first episode of the original 1960's Match Game. Check this out to see even more of his best work on the show:

Match Game - Honoring Orson Bean

Saturday, February 08, 2020

Return of the Sun

Stayed up late last night and slept in this morning. I was so glad to finally awaken to blue skies sunshine after the rain we've had all week! Celebrated with breakfast and Split Second. I came in during the second half of the 11 AM episode. From the looks of thing, the one guy in the middle had kicked rear the whole game, and though the ladies put up a fight in the speed round, he ultimately answered his questions first. Wasn't able to get the car in the bonus round, though, and opted to come back next week.

Switched to another Winnie the Pooh Valentine's Day special while doing the dishes. This one is actually an episode of The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. It's "Un-Valentine's Day" when Rabbit cancels the holiday in the wake of the avalanche of valentines Pooh sent last year. As so often happens when a resident of the 100 Acres Woods cancels a holiday, it doesn't stay canceled for long. Someone leaves Pooh a honey pot...which leads to flying cakes, Piglet clinging to a giant heart, and Rabbit putting on his idea of a romantic play. But who did send the original pot of honey? The episode also includes the super-short "The Three Little Piglets." The group tries to tell the famous folk tale, but Pooh keeps injecting honey, and Rabbit does not want to be the Big Bad Bunny.

Thought I'd try something a little different while getting organized. My sisters and I were huge fans of the original My Little Pony & Friends in the mid-80's, both the toys and the cartoon. The toys remain popular with collectors to this day. The cartoon can be cutesy, but some episodes are surprisingly dark for a girl show from this era. Take "Bright Lights,"  a four-part story from the second season. Four of the baby ponies are crazy about Nightshade, a handsome pony singing idol who is holding a concert in Ponyland. His zebra manager convinces the little ponies to join their band as back-up singers. As soon as they do, he steals their shadows and energy. Their human friend Megan and their horrified mothers go searching for them...and to find out who's really behind the shadow thefts.

Headed out shortly after the cartoon ended. My first stop of the day was the Oaklyn Library. Organized DVDs and books in the kids' area. The library just reorganized their DVDs and cleared out a lot of them. I picked up a box set of all of Shirley Temple's movies for a dollar. (Which means, look for reviews of her musicals at my Musical Dreams blog over the next few months.)

Next stop was the Acme. I had a lot of groceries I needed, and there were quite a few good sales this weekend. Had online coupons for peanut butter, canned tomato sauce, brown sugar, and the Oui yogurts in the little glass jar. An online coupon coupled with a sale on Honey Bunches of Oats allowed me to get it for free. Found turkey bacon with a manager's coupon and sales on crusted fish fillets. The Steve's Organic Ice Cream is still on clearance; went with Cold Cinnamon Coffee Brew. Restocked cranberries, bananas, butter, milk, frozen peas, cake mix, white flour, mechanical pencils, and muffin papers.

Not a bad schedule this week. On one hand, a long and early day tomorrow and I work four days straight through. On the other hand, I have Monday and next Saturday off, and a lot of morning and mid-afternoon shifts will allow me to get writing and other things done at home.

Ran Classic Concentration while putting everything away. Though a young man found the "take" card and was able to swipe pearl earrings from the older woman challenger, she still not only won in the end, but picked up more prizes, including sailing lessons and fresh flowers for a year. In a truly heart-stopping moment, she literally completed the bonus round and got the car at the very last possible second.

Worked on both the mall essay and the fanfic for a while. I wish malls hadn't been so quick to drop fun things like arcades, book stores, toy stores, and DVD and video stores...and considering that many are re-adding arcades, movie theaters, and other entertainment options, I suspect a lot of them are regretting it, too. I don't care if you can find them online. It's more fun to pick them up in a store. Clothes are not the be-all and end-all of everything. Not to mention, there's the sheer hang-out factor. I envy 80's and 90's kids who got to hang out in malls when they were younger. I don't have those stories. Kids in Lower Township had to beg their parents to drive them to malls further up north, or drive themselves and their friends almost an hour or more if they were teens.

Moved on to the fanfic around 5:30. The storm intensifies, turning Richard into a frozen statue. Brett clings to Charles, her dear friend, to protect her from the storm and from Malade's magic. Marcia tries to hang on to her prince friend, but he's vanishing in the heavy snow. All she hears before he disappears into the snow is his warning not to be misled by appearances and to look closer to find him...

Ran Descendants 3 earlier in the evening. I go further into the final movie in this series at my Musical Dreams Movie Reviews blog.

Musicals On TV - Descendants 3

It was almost 7:30 before I broke for dinner. Made spinach bacon salad with that turkey bacon while switching around Roku. The Roku Channel currently has the first two seasons of the late 70's-early 80's mystery-action series Hart to Hart. Since it was set around Valentine's Day, I chose the second season episode "Hart-Shaped Murder." Jennifer Hart (Stephanie Powers), the wife of wealthy industrialist Johnathan Hart (Robert Wagner), sends chocolate hearts to the members of her charity committee as a thank-you gift. However, the hearts are stolen or destroyed almost as soon as they're delivered. As the Harts investigate the thefts, someone sends them a seemingly random box of candies. Good thing the Harts and their man-of-all-trades Max (Lionel Stander) are on diets, because this box of goodies has a poison center inside that candy shell.

Finished the night after a shower with Match Game episodes on YouTube in honor of comedian and long-time regular Orson Bean, who was tragically run over by a car today at 91. His witty and homespun Vermont humor was a favorite on the show pretty much through its entire run. These episodes should give you at least a decent idea of some of his talents:

Match Game '74 - Orson's debut on the 70's show (and Marcia Wallace's as well).
Match Game '74 - Orson's gives an unusual - and rather sexual - answer to a later question.
Match Game '76 - Orson gives wry observations to some rather wild antics, including problems with the set and Betty White getting all tied up in tape.

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Matches and Mall Memories

Began the morning on Buzzr with breakfast and Blockbusters. A woman played a brother-sister pair, and it was a pretty close game, too. The lady would get an answer and get close...and then the brother and sister would block her and get an answer. They still hadn't finished the game when I switched it off to work on the mall essay.

The first major mall I spent any real time in was the Hamilton Mall in Mays Landing. Going to the mall in the mid-late 90's was a major event in my family. All six of us and maybe a friend or two would load into Dad's van in the late morning, then drive the 45 minutes of the Garden State Parkway and spend all day at the mall.

I spent as much time as I could hanging around either the book stores, the music stores, KB Toys, or Suncoast Music and Movies. Suncoast sold a lot of rare and unusual videos I couldn't find anywhere else; I bought several of my MacDonald/Eddy operettas on video there. Mom would have preferred I'd spent my time buying new clothes for school, but I've always hated trying on clothes! Even now, I still hate it. Unless I was admiring prom gowns in JC Penney, I wasn't interested.

We always had lunch at Red Lobster. It was the first restaurant to open in the parking lot outside the mall. Dad and Mom would splurge and get us the works - fancy drinks, a big seafood dinner, even dessert. There were always tons of leftovers to bring home, and we'd usually try to sneak a few of their amazing cheddar drop biscuits along. One time, Dad actually forgot our he put the container with our leftovers on the roof of the car! He didn't remember until he heard something fly off the van and thump on the side of the road. The only food we had left from that trip was Rose's slice of key lime pie, which she insisted on keeping with her.

I spent even more time at the Hamilton Mall when I was in college. Richard Stockton College (now University) is 20 minutes from the Hamilton Mall. Now I could spend as much time as I wanted in book stores and only buy clothes when I really needed them. It helped that my then-boyfriend was also a big reader. Most of our dates had us wandering around Borders or Waldenbooks or KB Toys, checking everything out and buying each other chai lattes.

(The Hamilton Mall is still there, but apparently, like most malls, it's having problems. It lost JC Penney and Sears within the last two years. It's the only major mall in the Southern Jersey Shore area, so I doubt it'll close anytime soon, but they do need to develop some other entertainment options there if they really want their audience back.)

Broke for lunch at 12:30: Had yogurt and celery with peanut butter while watching Match Game. Madelyn Rhue, Gary Burgoff, and Betty White joined Richard, Brett, Gene, and a returning Charles Nelson Reilly for a round of matching and madness. They were just winding down when I rushed out the door.

Got to work just in time. After all that, work wasn't really that busy. Except for doing a few returns and cleaning up a small spill right as I came in, I mainly alternated between sweeping and gathering carts for most of the day. The weather remained cloudy, windy, and cold, but I still would rather be outside with the carts than inside dealing with everyone.

Went straight into dinner when I got home. Jack Cassidy, Conny Van Dyke, and Betty White finally finished up their run on the evening Match Game with several jokes about Jack looking like John Barrymore...and being just as hammy as him, too. One question about Jack's face and his retirement hit a little too close to home, though...

Finished the night after a shower with For Me and My Gal. I go into further detail on Gene Kelly's first film and his first with Judy Garland at my Musical Dreams Movie Reviews blog.

For Me and My Gal

Sunday, January 19, 2020

A Walk On the Windy Side

I was up so late with Lauren last night, I didn't wake up this morning until almost 11! By the time I finished Cotton In My Sack by Lois Lenski and wrote in my journal, it was nearly 12:30. Kept things simple with Banana Pancakes for brunch. They came out pretty well, too. Burned a side of the first one slightly, but they otherwise came out very well, sweet and fluffy. Listened to the K-Tel Pure Gold LP from 1975 while I ate, enjoying songs like "Fooled Around and Fell In Love," "Right Back Where We Started From," "Let Your Love Flow," and the theme from Welcome Back Kotter.

Started something new after I cleaned up from breakfast. The essay on my long-time love of game shows took a while to write, but I did finish it. I decided to take my psychologist Mrs. Stahl up on an idea and write one on my fondness for malls.

Maybe it's because, for the first decade of my life, malls were sort of a mythological place to me. I wouldn't see the inside of a large, two-story mall until the early 90's. The only mall I knew of in the 80's was the Rio Mall in Rio Grande. Alas, it's long-gone now. Other, larger shopping centers opened down Route 9 and across the street, causing pretty much everything to move out or close. Super Wal-Mart eventually took over one of those brand-new shopping centers and probably would have killed the smaller K-Mart even if the chain wasn't having problems.

(In fact, according to a couple of local newspapers, Cape May County is apparently in the midst of remodeling the former K-Mart and Rio Mall into county offices, a bowling alley, an "entertainment center," and an expanded movie theater. Mom mentioned the movie theater being remodeled the last time I talked to her; she's upset that she won't be able to see Rise of Skywalker in the theater.)

Broke at quarter after 3 for a walk to Dad and Jodie's. At least it was a nice day for a walk. While it was still windy (I probably wouldn't have used the bike, even if it was in good shape), it was also sunny and a little warmer than yesterday, in the lower 40's. There were a lot of kids out for a walk or folks chatting with their neighbor before heading in to watch the football games.

I wanted to go over to their house because the Kansas City Chiefs played the Tennessee Titans for the AFC Championship at 3:05....and more importantly, I needed to finally return two of Jodie's larger Tupperware containers from the Christmas morning brunch leftovers. I watched part of the first, the second, and the first half of the third quarter with them, switching to Law & Order: Special Victims Unit when commercials rolled around.

It was a really exciting game, too. The Titans were up 10-0 when I arrived, but the Chiefs quickly got a touchdown. The Titans came back by halftime, making it 17-14. By the time the sun went down and I headed out, they were up 17-21. I later discovered online that the Chiefs did end up winning 35-24.

(The Packers played the 49ers later this evening. I didn't watch that one, but considering the Niners were up 27-0 at halftime when I checked the score online and later won 37-20, I suspect it wasn't quite as thrilling. Incidentally, for those of you following along at home, this means that it'll be the 49ers and the Chiefs in the Super Bowl. I'm glad. They're both good teams to deserve to be going.)

Rose called almost as soon as I walked in the door. I intended to call her anyway and find out when we're going down to North Cape May tomorrow. It sounds like between 10:30 and 11, after Finley has her tumbling class. That's usually when she picks me up for trips to visit the family down there, so I wasn't surprised. Sounds like Mom's invited too, which makes me hope she and Anny have at least tried to mend their fences.

Finished out the Pure Gold set while wrapping Lilah's birthday presents. I'm giving her two cute picture books, both from the bargain bin at the Acme. One is about a little Scandinavian girl who suddenly becomes tiny and has an amazing adventure in the flowers and grass around her. The other allows the reader to place reusable stickers - or come up with an idea of their own - on a blank "spot" in a story and finish the story their own way. (I also have money for my 10-year-old nephew Collyn's birthday that I didn't get around to giving him last month.)

Made Cincinatti Chili on tri-color pasta for dinner while listening to the soundtrack for the Barbra Streisand vehicle Funny Lady. I saw the movie on Crackle when I was browsing around and may review it this Tuesday. I hadn't had the LP on in quite some time. Kander & Ebb wrote a couple of new numbers to go with a batch of older songs from Fannie Brice's second husband Billy Rose, including the standard "How Lucky Can You Get?" that opens the album. Other good numbers include "Great Day" and the comic "Blind Date" for Streisand, "Clap Hands, Here Comes Charley" for Ben Vereen, and a charming version of "It's Only a Paper Moon" mixed with the new "I Like Him/Her" for Streisand and James Caan as Rose.

Saturday, November 16, 2019

Windy Fall Harvest

Kicked off a quick morning with breakfast and more Magic School Bus. The kids are "Getting Energized" when they have to figure out how to get the Ferris wheel at their school carnival moving without using electric power. With the help of Carlos' wheelchair-bound cousin Mike, they figure out how to harness wind, water, and solar power to get rocks up that'll turn the Ferris wheel up the mountain.

They're "Out of This World" after Dorothy Ann has a nightmare about an asteroid destroying their school. Ms. Frizzle takes the kids out into space in a sci-fi spoof to teach them about meteors, asteroids, and other space debris. They finally figure out how to get the asteroid to go on an axis around the Magic School Bus and toss it out of orbit.

Today is the second-to-last day of the Collingswood Farm Market, which always ends the Saturday before Thanksgiving, but it's the last day I'll be able to get there. Maybe it's just as well. The increasingly frigid weather was reflected in a distinct lack of fruit and vegetable stands. It's more than half craft booths now. There was enough left for me to buy cranberries, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, small apples, and spinach.

Took the long way back to Oaklyn across Newton Lake Park. Though it was sunny and bright, it was also chilly, with gale-force winds blasting me alongside the rippling waters. The trees glowed golden along the path.

Headed down Newton Road to volunteer at the library. They were fairly busy for them. A pleasant young couple came in to ask the librarian about taking out library cars. A few folks chatted with her while I looked over the DVDs and children's books.

It was too cold to linger for much longer. I went straight home after that and didn't go anywhere else. Got organized and had a quick lunch while finishing out The Magic School Bus. When Liz the Lizard goes missing, Wanda discovers she's at "Herp Haven," a resting place for reptiles run by an eccentric Brit (Michael York). They and the bus turn into reptiles to learn more about cold-blooded animals and how they have to move around to regulate their body temperature in "Cold Feet."

The season finished on a strong note with the Loch Ness Monster spoof "Ups and Downs." A talk show hostess (Cindy Williams) claims she saw a monster in the middle of the local lake. Wanda is determined to find it, but first, Ms. Frizzle and the class have to figure out how to get the Bus to sink, then how to make it rise when they figure out what's really going on.

Scientific concepts may have changed in the intervening 20 years since this came out, but the charm and hilarity of the show didn't. Lily Tomlin does great as the world's strangest and most enthusiastic science teacher, and she's backed by the genuinely funny kids and a great guest voice cast. There's also the segments in the last five minutes that explain what's real, what isn't, and goes slightly more into the topic.

I haven't seen the current Netflix show, but if your kids have read the books or love science (and can understand that some of the information here is a little dated), they may have a lot of fun with this one.

Worked on a lot of writing after lunch. Finally finished that game show essay. I'll see if I can at least start on another one to post about my association with malls before the holidays really kick in.

Even got pretty far on the fanfic. Almost everyone except for Gene and Bill (who are badly seasick) are enjoying their trip across Andersen Bay. Charles finally asks Brett why she never told them she was a princess. She didn't want to attract Malade's attention...and she kind of liked just being one of the crowd and working with the bandits. They don't get much further into the subject before Donald, one of Richard's men, falls overboard. Help is on the way, though, from a most unlikely source...

Broke early for dinner, around 5:30. I wanted to make a nice, big, warm meal for a cold day. Defrosted chicken legs for Merlin's Magic (Baked) Chicken, then dug a recipe for sauteed Brussels sprouts and onions out of one of my vintage cookbooks. (Made sure not to boil the sprouts for as long as they called for. Boil them too long, and they don't smell so great.) I grabbed "Sweet Hawaiian" biscuits from the Acme yesterday, and they were just rich and buttery enough to be a wonderful compliment.

Watched the Daniel Tiger's Winter Wonderland set while I ate and cleaned up afterwards. Daniel and Miss Elaina want to enjoy "A Snowy Day" and be snow astronauts. Daniel thinks he can wear his astronaut helmet outside, but it turns out to be too cold for anything but a warm hat.

"Daniel's Winter Adventure" takes him, Dan Sr, and Prince Tuesday for a ride on a sled, and then ice skating for the first time. Little Dan is nervous about trying all these new sports. His father assures him that he and Wednesday can do a little at a time until they get used to them.

The "Neighborhood Nutcracker" gives Dan an even greater reason to be nervous. Henrietta and Katerina Pussycat asks him to step in for an ailing Prince Wednesday as the Nutcracker in their ballet. He's scared he won't learn all the steps, but the ladies help him out.

Wednesday and Daniel join Baker Aker to make and decorate trolley cookies for the town. They make "Baking Mistakes," but Aker shows them how to fix them.

Finished the night with the live-action Beauty and the Beast from 2017. I go further one of Disney's earlier remakes at my Musical Dreams Movie Reviews blog.

Beauty and the Beast (2017)

Thursday, November 08, 2018

It's a Small World After All

It was still sunny this morning when I rolled out of bed (later than I planned). It was too late to start writing, so I ate breakfast, then made Cranberry "Old School" Muffins from an Alton Brown recipe. Ran the Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy version of Rose Marie while I ate and baked. I go into more detail on that one at my Musical Dreams Reviews blog.

Rose Marie (1936)

Headed off to work even before the movie ended. I wish I hadn't. The Acme was crazy-busy for most of the afternoon. Most kids get off early today and tomorrow for the New Jersey Teachers Convention...which means their parents likely got off early, too. That coupled with the free coupons and a lack of help (everyone was fine - the computer just didn't assign us enough help) meant that while I did manage to get some carts done when I came in and the inside trash done before I left, I was mostly panicking in a register. (And we were short on bagging help, too. The head bagger had a death in the family and left early.)

Went straight home from work, but things didn't go much better there. My computer was running slow, and I didn't really get to much writing. I did manage to post a few things, though. I wrote I Dance Alone ages ago, probably around 2002-2004. It's based after a real-life incident when I went to my first boy-girl party as a kid in the late 80's and ended up dancing by myself. I also posted an essay I wrote for the Heilum Network in 2012 about what dinner was like in my family in the 80's and 90's.

I Dance Alone
Family Dinners

Watched the rest of Rose Marie while eating a quick leftovers dinner. Did Downsizing after a shower. In the near future, Paul Safranek (Matt Damon) and his wife Audrey (Kristin Wiig) volunteer for a procedure that'll shrink them to five inches tall. Not only will they shrink, but they'll be able to live in a town for people who were previously shrunk...and money that would have been meager at regular size is inflated to millions in the mini-town. Paul's all for it, but Audrey panics at the last moment and backs out. Their costly divorce lands him in a much smaller apartment and a bad job. He regrets his decision to shrink his life until he meets Ngoc Lan Tran (Hong Chau), a cleaning woman who works for shrunken people in the neglected slums outside his town. He tries to help her make a better prosthetic foot, but breaks it and ends up helping her distribute food to the needy people of the slums instead.

A friend of Paul's (Christoph Waltz) agrees to take him and Ngoc to Norway to meet Dr. Jorgen Asbjornsen, the creator of the downsizing formula and the head of the first mini town. He insists that humanity is doomed, no matter what size they are, and will take his community deep inside the earth to avoid extinction. Paul has to decide if he agrees with Jorgen and wants to leave the world all together...or if Ngoc is right and humanity can be saved.

It starts out with the unusual premise of shrinking people to escape their problems, but it doesn't really follow through with it's intentions. The second half loses focus; the story of Ngoc and the Norwegian colony that wants to avoid tragedy probably would have played the same way whether the actors were big or small. Damon's not bad as the man who just wants to do something important with his life, but it's Chau who steals the show as the woman who, despite her amputation and the loss of her home and family, already knows how to make a difference. Not to mention, this movie has no idea what it wants to be. It starts out as an ironic comedy, swings to stark drama when Ngoc comes in, and ends up as science fiction.

This was a flop when it came out last December; it just wasn't big enough to compete with The Last Jedi or Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. While it was popular with many critics, most audiences weren't as amused. I'm afraid I'm going to side with them. This is all right if you're a fan of the cast, unusual sci-fi, or of director Alexander Payne's other films. For everyone else, it's a rental at best.