Get a Job

The morning did not begin well. Though my sniffles had vanished when I awoke this morning, I discovered, to my annoyance, that a certain female time of the month had arrived. Not to mention, I got up a lot later than I thought I would. And when I tried to flip my first blueberry-chocolate chip pancake, it landed on the edge of the pan and got all over the stove.

Mom was doing a lot better than I was when I called her. She was just about to settle in to clean her kitchen floor (which she says is a lot easier than it sounds, it being a brand-new floor). She just got a part-time job at the Micheal's in Rio Grande this week. Not a lot of hours or very high-paying, but it'll get her foot in the door. She hasn't worked in at least five years or more, since my brother was little and she worked at his elementary school, making posters and other art for teachers. She's hoping to eventually train to work on store layouts and displays, not just for Micheal's, but for other small stores as well.

She's not having much luck with Dad or Keefe, though. Her relationship with my stepfather has always been volatile at best. They're both stubborn and bossy, hard-headed and inclined to be violent when provoked. And Dad and Keefe's antagonistic relationship has apparently deteriorated of late as well; Mom's afraid they're going to come to blows, or worse.

I had just enough time after getting off with Mom to grab lunch and head off to work. Good thing, too. Although it wasn't too bad when I came in, by 4 o'clock, the place was hopping. We were in desperate need of help. There were two people leaving at 4, my relief was late, and there was no one we could call from anywhere else. No one had even called out. We just hadn't scheduled enough help. The other girl and I stayed another hour. (Just as well - my original "relief" showed up 20 minutes late.)

Lauren and I were talking about local malls in one of our chats the other night. She has fond memories of Zayre's, a department store chain in her area that apparently died in the 90s, just as Ames and Jamesway did here and elsewhere. Talking about them reminded me of the remnants of the one and only really major mall in the South Jersey area, the Rio Mall. I've written about this unfortunate mall here before, but our chat and talking to Mom this morning brought a lot of memories back again.

When I was a kid, the Rio Mall was the coolest place to shop. Of course, this being Cape May County, it was also the only real place to shop. The next closest malls were the Shore Mall and (after 1989) the Hamilton Mall, and they were 45 minutes away. Everything else were small boutiques and locally owned stores that often had outrageous prices and didn't have what you wanted half the time.

When Petula Clark sang about "Downtown," this was my downtown. There was a Thrift Drug, a record store where Mom bought most of her huge record collection, a movie theater with a great pizza parlor next-door, an arcade, a kids' clothes store (I fondly recall coveting their gorgeous frilly dresses, which you can see in the picture), and a big jewelry store. My sisters and I used to go see Santa here every year; his throne was in the main mall, near the record store and Thrift Drug. We'd go to the Deb Shop next to the K-Mart while Mom checked out when we were old enough to wander on our own.

(For years, the scene in Christmas Story where Ralphie sees Santa in the big department store both mystified and amused me. What was this big department store place? Did department stores get bigger than K-Mart? Why was his throne so elaborate? Our Santa sat on a throne made of red glittery stuff, surrounded by tinsel and fancy decorations, no sarcastic elves or slides. And our Santas were always very polite and nice to us, very warm and sweet. This Santa was a jerk.)

As mentioned previously, the Rio Mall died an ugly death around the late 90s, when most of it's major stores either shut down or moved. Thrift Drug merged with Eckard's and moved to a store next to Shop Rite; it was there as of 2006, now likely a Rite Aid. The JCPenny also moved; it's currently next to PetSmart (formerly Sears Hardware when I was there). (The Peebles is still there, too. It's one of Mom's favorite stores.) The Reynolds moved to a shopping center next to Wendy's on Route 45. Reynolds was going belly-up when I moved; Mom says it's now the largest, nicest, and cleanest Family Dollar in the South Jersey area. Rick's movie theater was downgraded to $2 b-pics and closed when the Bayshore 8 opened in North Cape May. Ironically, a new theater opened in the former Staples/A&P building that shuttered the Bayshore 8 permanently.

(And seriously...who designed that movie theater? Did someone forget to tell them that all the Doo Wop is down the street in Wildwood? It totally does NOT fit in with the K-Mart or any of the mini-malls surrounding them. I'm glad to see K-Mart's still going strong despite competition from a new Wal-Mart, across the street, BTW. Say what you will about their prices; I have a LOT of childhood memories in that store.)

Farm Market Day

Sue called me around 8:30AM. Could I come in early, at 11:30? I could come in early, but I pushed it to noon. I really needed to get to the Farm Market and the bank, but that wouldn't take too much time. I'd planned on spending the rest of the morning just hanging out.

It was a gorgeous, sunny, breezy, 80-degree day when I headed out around 9:30 this morning. The bank was my first stop. It was dead, and I was in and out. I saw a yard sale on my way to the Farm Market and bought a teddy bear dressed as a Philadelphia Eagles cheerleader to use for decoration around football season and two vintage-style My Little Ponies. They're not actual vintage ponies (the bottom of their hooves say 2007), but they're damn good Hasbro recreations. One is mint-colored, with shamrocks on her side and a white mane and tail. The other is all lavender, with white flowers on her side. I forget their names.

There was something weird about the Farm Market when I arrived. It seemed to be a lot further from the bike rack that usual. It turns out there was construction at the PATCO, and in order to avoid it, the booths were only at the last block and in the parking lot behind the City Hall. Spinach was gone, but I was still able to buy cherries, blueberries, cucumbers, bananas, sweet potatoes, romaine lettuce, and the first New Jersey eggplants and green peppers of the season. (The peppers and eggplants previously sold at the Farm Market had come from down south, in Georgia or Florida.)

I stopped at one more yard sale after leaving, but they mostly just had baby clothes and toys. Good thing I got an early start. Even stopping at two yard sales, I had an hour to put everything away, have lunch, change, and head to work.

Work was really busy when I first came in. Apparently, there had been call-outs all morning, probably due to the nice weather. As it turned out, Mother Nature had the last laugh. Sometime around the dinner hour, the sky began to cloud over, and it grew more humid and warmer. It was still just cloudy when I finally made it out around 7:30, having picked up an on-sale box of Multi-Grain Cheerios. (For $1.88, how can I resisit?)

It didn't really start storming until just a few minutes ago, including one peal of thunder that was so loud, I screamed bloody murder! The rain's pouring down now. Just as well. Uncovered grass is looking a little dry. We could use the rain...provided it doesn't continue for the rest of the month, like in June.

Running Away With My Nose

Ugh. I'm having yet another allergy attack, the second one in a week! This is such a pain. I usually have them every couple of weeks to every couple of months. I never had problems like this when I lived in Wildwood. I'm wondering if it's the pollution in the air from Camden and Philadelphia? I'll bet a lot of people have allergy problems here who barely sniffle once at the Shore.

I spent the morning sleeping in and updating my general website, The Riverside Rest. Yahoo's free website service, GeoCities, is shutting down on October 26th. I'm going to gradually move most of my old general website, Emma's Home Town, to The Rest. Today, I moved three older essays and added a link to my Facebook page to the "On the Front Porch" index and dropped and added links to the "Walk in the Park" links page. Also did some general tweaking and updating.

Here's the links for both pages:

The Riverside Rest
Emma's Home Town

Good thing work wasn't really busy. I sneezed through most of it. Didn't have many groceries to get, either - yogurt, peanut butter, Hershey's Special Dark chocolate chips, a small steak for pan-frying, turkey cutlets that had a $2.00 off coupon on them, and - not surprisingly - tissues. (Scottie's were on sale.)

Soup Is Good Food

I slept in this morning. When I poked my head out the door, I realized there was no need for the air conditioner. It was mildly cloudy, breezy, and barely into the upper 70s-lower 80s. I switched it off and enjoyed my breakfast and Wonder Woman in peace.

I headed out to Collingswood around 11AM. Dropped off a small bag of donations for Erica at the thrift shop, then hung around in the Collingswood Library. I read a book on the Marvel Universe there, mostly just so I can keep track of who's who.

Did counseling next. Scott and I discussed my upcoming vacation, but we mostly talked about my recent difficulties controlling myself at work. I've been really hard on myself lately. I know it's embarassing, and I know I look silly when I do it, but...it's hard to stop doing it. It's what I instantly think - why did I make this mistake? If I were smart, I wouldn't have done it. I'm stupid for having done it. I know those thoughts are unproductive. It's just a matter of telling myself that in the heat of the moment, when an upset child afraid of not doing what's right and normal and what she's supposed to do takes over.

I wanted to do lunch after counseling, but I didn't really feel like pizza or a sandwich. I wanted something different...and I knew exactly what it was. I rode across Collingswood, down Cuthbert Road, past the Haddon Township Library, and over Crystal Lake Road to Pine Street on Audubon to that little Soup restaurant I last ate at in January. They're still there, and as messy and homey-looking as ever, with a few patriotic-related doo-dads replacing winter ones. I had the yummy Italian Wedding Soup, a fat slice of delicious cornbread, and a can of Diet A&W...and it all came to about $5.60. I really need to eat at that place more often.

I browsed in Willie the Woodsman's and Wife and Act Two Collectibles, but I didn't buy anything. Rode into Audubon to see if I could actually find their library. I finally did, after some fruitless riding around...only to discover it was closed from the 4th of July to the 19th! I discovered why when I stopped at Doria's Deli on the way home for a bottle of water and read in a local newspaper that Audubon hadn't allotted a single penny for their tiny library. Not one! And they hadn't told the staff, either. What a bunch of jerks. Do any of the council-people in Audubon actually READ?

Spent the rest of the afternoon at home, reading the Too Nice for Your Own Good book Lauren sent me and watching Wonder Woman. I'm really impressed with these episodes. They dealt with some surprisingly sensitive issues for a 70s sci-fi show, including the internment of Japanese citizens during World War II in "The Man Who Could Move the World" and the exploitation of musicians in "The Pied Piper." "Piper," which on paper sounded like a Bee-Gees era version of the Get Smart episode "The Groovy Guru," came out rather sweet (and with an odd "Pied Piper" in Martin Mull). I made Tacos with ground turkey, Farm Market colby cheese, and whole wheat wraps and steamed carrots for dinner.

Wonder-Ful Balance

The morning did not begin pleasantly. I heard the mouse trap go off around 3AM, but I waited until quarter of 8 to take it out. When I leaned over to get the trap, I discovered the mouse was in the trap...but still moving! Ugh! I got it out of the house and into the outdoor trash can as quickly as possible. (Good thing I was taking the trash out and leaving it by the curb tonight anyway.)

Things mostly went uphill from there. Yoga class was full, but not as jammed as the Friday classes have been. (In fact, I intentionally avoided the Friday class this week after barely making it into the last two.) There were 12 people, including the teacher Jill. We worked on the shoulders, opening the hips, and on balance. I'm getting better at balancing, but focusing is just so hard, and I still can't do shoulder stands.

I rode home through Newton River Park, enjoying a gorgeous 85-degree day and the lovely breeze. Spent the rest of the afternoon taking advantage of the relatively (for this time of year) cooler temperatures to bake Peach Spice Muffins, getting rid of a very ripe peach and the last tiny bit of sweet potato left in my fridge.

I also enjoyed The Backyardigans and the first couple of episodes on the Wonder Woman: Season 2 set. "Literary Heroes" was the theme for this Backyardigans set. The titular episode, Robin Hood the Clean, was a bit odd. Mayor Stinkypants (Austin) won't allow the citizens of Filthingham to take a bath or even keep soap around! Tyrone finally goes to Purewood Forest to convince Robin Hood the Clean (Pablo) to come to Filthington to save the villagers from the Mayor's rigged Festival of Dirt. I found the emphasis on cleanliness in this episode to be well-meaning but a bit bizarre. Kids who are more into grossness will probably get a bigger kick out of it.

The rest of the episodes were better. Tyrone and Pablo are "The Two Musketeers"...but who's that masked hippo girl who wants to join them? I loved the emphasis on politeness, the balloon swords, and the lesson that you shouldn't judge a person (or hippo) before you've even met them. "To the Center of the Earth" took Professors Uniqua and Pablo to the title location to find Tyrone's missing lucky penny. The two inventors are eager to use their inventions, but Tyrone proves that sometimes the simplest way of doing something just might be the best way.

My favorite episode on this set by far was the Zorro spoof "The Masked Returner." Uniqua is a librarian in Veijo, California who becomes "The Masked Returner" when a book is overdue. When Don Austin (Austin's third villain in this set) refuses to return a library book that's due, it's The Masked Returner to the rescue...and to teach Don Austin a lesson in renewing library books and the importance of libraries.

The second season of Wonder Woman is a vast improvement over the first. As much as I love mid-20th-century history, moving the show to 1977 allowed for a better range of villains and more interesting characters. The Nazi-of-the-week formula in the first season got old fast. Something else I like is this show's fine line between camp and seriousness. It's neither as over-the-top as the (in)famous 60s Batman series nor as dark or brooding as something like Smallville. In fact, the only real cheesy elements, other than some odd plots, came from the updating - bad 70s fashion, dated computers and other technology, and obvious special effects.

Work was dead as a doornail. It got busy-ish during the usual 4-6 rush hour, but was otherwise quiet...except for my last customers. Some guy obviously didn't know a darn thing about doing WIC checks. He handed me a whole bunch and had relied on some stock guy who didn't know what he was talking about instead of reading the pamphlet and got half the stuff wrong. It took me forever to get rid of that guy.

Taking Care of Business

Today had more ups and downs than a roller coaster! It didn't start well. I was putting my contacts in when I dropped one. I ran my hands over the sink, all around the sink, under the sink. Nothing. It either went down the drain or fell into the basket with all the books, magazines, and random catalogs I read in the bathroom. That was my last pair. I wasn't happy, but it wasn't a total loss. I have my glasses. I just added a trip to America's Best to my morning errands.

My bike tire wasn't all the way flat, only about half-way there. I pulled out my hand-pump and did it well enough to be able to take the cruiser bike on my errands. I still went to Wal-Mart for an inner tube. Even if it was fine, it wouldn't hurt to have it...and it was a slow leak, more the better. (I also picked up a Transformers-themed birthday card for my nephew Skylar, whose big day is July 31st.) The line at Wal-Mart was long, but it moved fast. I made a quick stop at America's Best to order my new contacts (and my last set before I have to get my eyes examined again), then headed home.

The mail box was full when I arrived. Lauren mentioned a couple of days ago that she was posting an order to Amazon.com. Did I want anything, too? I opted for Wonder Woman: Season 2 and an X-Men paperback, The Return. There was also a surprise in the second box with The Return, a self-help book called Too Nice For Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes. When I asked Lauren about it later, she said she bought one for herself and thought it might help me, too.

She might have something there. I'm pretty good about not taking on too much...but I suppress anger or blame myself of express it negatively, and everyone in the universe has scolded me about being hard on myself. I'm afraid of anger. When I think of anger, I think of the physical results - hitting, slapping, pulling hair. My mother and my stepfather beat each other black and blue in the mid and late 80s, in full view of their three young daughters. They never touched us...but there's other kinds of trauma besides being physically hurt yourself. I spent a lot of my childhood swallowing anger at the other children who could seem to do everything perfectly and and made fun of me and the teachers who didn't even try to stop them (or tried and were put down for it). I'm afraid of hurting anyone. I don't know how to be aggressive without being a pain. I have to swallow my anger at my obnoxious customers every day and then I blame myself for their behavior.

And I ran right into one of those problems. Jessa and Taylere weren't at home when I went to fetch them for our trip into Philadelphia. Jessa's car wasn't there. Uncle Ken and Dolores were inside watching TV; Dad was outside mowing the lawn. I'd discovered too late that I didn't have Jessa's phone number on my cell phone. She either forgot or thought I did, though I could have sworn I'd told her we'd leave between one or two, and it was about 1:30 by that point. I left in tears.

After I calmed myself down, I decided to return to my original plan for today, which was going to the library. I'm really glad I did. The DVDs were overflowing to the point where they were two rows deep on the DVD return cart and there were STILL more coming in. I organized them as best I could (took me over an hour), then took out some items of my own - two American Girls summer stories (Addy Saves the Day and Samantha Saves the Day), a stack of Disney Vacation and Uncle Scrooge comic books (I prefer funny animals and/or kids to superheroes), and a book on taking the GRE. I want to see what I'm up against if I do decide to go back to school. They finally had the newest Backyardigans DVD, Robin Hood the Clean, and I snapped up the Irish indie musical Once, which I've wanted to see.

It was almost quarter of 6 by the time I finally got out of the library. It was too late for me to make dinner, and I'd forgotten to get something out of the fridge anyway. Inspired by a book on New Jersey Diners I saw at the library, I headed down the hill to the Crystal Lake Diner. Though the parking lot was full, it actually wasn't that busy inside. A young man who was the host recognized me, and the waiter was very sweet about waiting for me to choose. I finally opted for a chicken cheese steak platter with fries, fried onions, a pickle, and cole slaw. It was delicious...and huge. So big, I ended up taking half of it home.

Jessa called while I was chatting with Lauren. She apologized for the mix-up earlier. We'll try something next week or the week after, when I get my paycheck.

And I just saw a huge gray mouse go flying across my bedroom floor! I have no idea where he went. I set up a trap in the space between my wall, the children's book case, and the American Girl dolls' bed. I hope that's right. I didn't see any mouse holes, but it may be behind the case and the closets next to it.

And I think the trap just went off...

Flat Tire

Everything went fine this morning, of course. I got my laundry done. I got my Fourth of July decorations down. My laundry took a little longer than usual (I did last month's towels today along with all the regular items), and I was a little later than I should have been getting out to work.

Of course, I discover when I finally get downstairs that my back tire is half-way to being flat. Again. After it was just replaced last month. I have no idea how this happened. It was fine last night, when I rode home from work. I didn't use it at all this morning. I didn't see any rips or tears in the tire, and there didn't seem to be any rocks or nails in there. I was almost late for work. Again.

Thank goodness work was steady-to-dead, with no major problems. I ended up walking home. It was too nice of a day to call Dad, and I felt bad about blowing a tire he just paid to replace last month. I should learn to be smarter and more careful. The inner tube should be fine. This isn't supposed to happen a month after you replace a tire. I'm so, so angry at myself.

A neighbor who's a friend of Dad's and lives around the corner from me saw me walking home. She and her husband offered to fix the bike tomorrow if I can get the inner tube. I can afford it...but I'd really rather walk than beg a ride from Dad. Maybe Jessa.

I'm deeply embarrassed. I can't believe I blew another inner tube. This must make the third time I blew an inner tube this year, maybe the fourth. I'm so careless and thoughtless. Why can't I do anything right?