Saturday, September 17, 2005

New Computer; Old Problem

In good news, I was finally able to afford a computer upgrade. I just bought a nice, simple Compaq; I don't need anything fancy. The D drive on my old one was going, and it didn't have CD burning capabilities. I don't know the specifics, since I don't know much about computers other than how to turn them on, type on them, and surf the 'Net, but it seems to be working fine, it downloads twice as fast as the old one, and Mom, Windows XP IS a big improvement on Windows '98. :D

In bad news, the Wildwood Acme is finally closing to be torn down and rebuilt. They MAY be finished sometime in May or June; I'm not holding my breath. It's just going to be a pain in the rear. Everyone's thrilled now...but they won't be happy when they have to slog through the Feburary snow and ice storms to get to Super Fresh in North Wildwood or Shop Rite in Rio Grande. :p

Actually, what I want is to move out of Cape May County all together. I'm sick of Wildwood. I'm tired of working 20 hours in January and 40 in June. I'm tired of ignorant locals and spoiled, snotty tourists. I'm tired of feeling like my 4 1/2 years of college were nothing but a big waste of time. Everyone rants and raves about how wonderful having a college degree is, but if it is so wonderful, why am I working in a grocery store that's falling apart? Why aren't I writing somewhere, or at least working as a clerk or a receptionist?

I want to live in a town where people LIVE, not visit. I want to have time to write AND make money. I want to do a job I actually like doing, one where I don't handle more than 10 or 20 people a day at the absolute most...summer OR winter. I want a job where the only reason the seasons matter is to plan the Christmas or Halloween or Valentine's party. I want the same hours year round and the same co-workers. I want full-time raises and benefits without having to handle customers and not being able to plan around my spotty schedule.

I can't understand why I'm having a hard time finding this. I'm so confused and depressed. I want out of retail...but now what? Where do I go now? How can I get an entry-level writing job? Where's a good place for someone shy like me to sell their work? If I'm so smart, why won't any of the local newspapers hire me, even the ones from Philly? Where are the good opportunities for creative writers here? Where do they have career counceling here? How can I get "in" with the government workers, most of whom have worked the same jobs for decades and are wary of hiring anyone new? How can I convince people that I'm competant and necessary? How do I convince MYSELF that I'm competant and necessary?

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