Friday, February 11, 2022

Just Too Much

Overslept this morning, and couldn't get through to Mrs. Stahl, either. Tried to cheer myself up with breakfast and Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. "It's Love Day," and Daniel and his friends are all showing how much they care about each other. Dan's even more interested in figuring out who gave him a card with a boat on it. Grandpere visits for "Daniel's Love Day Surprise." Dan sets up a game for Grandpere to find hearts all over the living room, but Margaret finds one first. He's upset, until his grandfather reminds him that she didn't know, and finding hearts and giving him sloppy kisses are her way of expressing love.

Had barely enough time to check listings before I left. A lot of people keep bringing up roommates. On one hand, I do need to meet more people, and they might be able to help me (and I could help them). The problem is, first of all, many of the rooms for rent in this area aren't that much cheaper than the less-expensive apartments. Second, I haven't had a roommate since college. Third, there's my things. I honestly plan on ditching at least one book shelf and possibly the bedding, but I still have other furniture and items. I need to figure out what to do with them, or see if my new roommate needs more furniture. 

I was still depressed at work. Work was off-and-on busy, not as bad as earlier in the week, but more than yesterday. We're supposed to be getting a teensy bit of snow on Sunday. Not only does it sound like it'll be light at worst, but it's been so warm, it's unlikely to do anything besides look pretty coming down. In fact, I think it hit the upper 50's-lower 60's today. I was able to wear my fleece work jacket instead of my heavy winter coat. 

Went straight into grocery shopping after work. Didn't really need a whole lot. Jessa's birthday is tomorrow - picked up a card and gift card for her. Found three crusted fish fillets with manager's coupons. The blood oranges are still out, and grapes are on good sales with an online coupon. Had an online coupon for Bryers Ice Cream, which is also on a good sale this week. Also had a digital coupon for peanut butter and yogurt. Restocked cereal, chocolate chips, celery, and a bag of broccoli and cauliflower.

Not thrilled with my schedule next week. In good news, two days off this time, Tuesday for counseling and Saturday. Thing is, almost all of those are 7 or 8 1/2 hour shifts, and two of them are bagging. I'll never have the time to get anything done, including finding an apartment.

I was dead tired when I finally made it home. I did manage to get everything put away while watching Match Game '78. Gene starts off the episode by climbing through the scaffolding in the set. The others argue their answers to what a girl who is a "real doll" does. Guich Kooch is far happier to help a lady 
figure out the Audience Match for "The Town __."

I didn't really hear much of the next episode, which began Christmas week with Joe Santos of The Rockford Files, soap star Carol Jones, and Dick Martin and Fannie Flagg. I just couldn't stand anymore. I was totally overwhelmed. Everything just keeps getting worse and worse. Everyone keeps saying "be positive," and "have faith," but how can I do that when nothing is going right? I am so very, very tired. I know I'm supposed to get a job, get a roommate, do the right thing, do what I'm supposed to do. All I want is a home of my own, but I'm not good enough for that. 

Managed to get myself together and have a coconut-crusted tilapia fillet with steamed broccoli and cauliflower. I settled down with Match Game PM as Gary Burghoff and Elaine Joyce made out in the opening. Later on, Gene and Brett showed off their own version of getting down and dirty with a "bun to bun" disco move (which Gary dubbed "the Encino trout"). 

Talked to Mom for nearly an hour while Match Game and Sale of the Century ran. She's mad as heck with Rose for abandoning me. I'm not mad at Rose. Annoyed with her, but not angry. She did what she could. She's a lawyer. She handled the legalities. I've one too many times not done something I said I'd do, and I don't blame her for being upset. This is all very frustrating. Plus, she has kids to take care of, whether they're in school or not. 

That doesn't mean I appreciate her trying to shove me on Mom, either. Mom says she'll talk to the owner of her house about having me, but I really don't want her to. Cape May County is largely oriented towards millionaires, tourists, and history nuts. Beautiful area, but none of us have the money to live there anymore, including me. Plus, there's even less housing and fewer job opportunities and hospitals. It's why I turned down my high school friend Kristie's offer of a room, too. Rose has it in her head that Cape May is safer, but she hasn't lived there in over 20 years. 

Mom's also still after me about getting a job. I haven't because I already work one demanding physical job. My mind's too fried for signing up for more retail work, but I could do more research on some part-time online work tomorrow. The other thing she's pushing is something I can do right away - keep better track of my finances. I stopped trying to write everything down in a book, because it took too much time when you can just go online and check what you've spent and what money you have. I do need to figure out how much money I'm paying and what my expenses are now. I only pay rent - no bills - so I need to find out where besides a few streaming companies my money is going to. 

Printed out the ledgers, but my brain was too far gone for anything else besides an episode of The Love Boat. A glittery turquoise gown is "A Dress to Remember" in all three of this episode's stories. Captain Steubing (Gavin McLeod) helps a poor flower seller (Eleanor Parker) be a lady for her long-lost daughter (Catherine Parks) and her fiancĂ© (Kelly Monteith). Two diet doctors vie for a lovely lady (Markie Post) who hopes one of their diets will help her shed a few pounds. One guy (Bob Denver) is so desperate to get his ex-wife (Brianne Leary) back, he dresses in drag to avoid her father (Forrest Tucker), who never liked him. 


Linda said...

Emma, if I'm not being a jerk, can I point out something? You eat out too much. James and I make a lot more than you do and we only eat out once, sometimes twice, a week. You need to get a lunchbox and make sandwiches or plastic containers and bring leftovers. Restaurant food and especially drinks are hideously overpriced.

Emma said...

I do have a lunchbox. I bring muffins or yogurt and fruit with celery or carrot sticks to work. That's where all those muffins I make go. I've actually been trying to cut back on eating out, because most of the restaurant food around here is not the best for you.