Clean Balance

Though it was warm, wet, and humid when I got up this morning, I made it to Yogawood before the next round of rain came through. Rose joined in this time. It was about a mid-sized class, 10 or so with Jill, Rose, and me. I don't know about Rose, but my balance was a little off today. I collapsed on one of the twists and bobbled on the more complicated Warrior poses.

I didn't have much more luck going home. The chain fell off my blue stationary bike AGAIN on my way back. Thankfully, I was more than half-way home when it did it, but I'm getting tired of it. I need to borrow a wrench from somebody, and SOON. I had to stop at CVS anyway and get mouthwash, but it was still annoying.

Spent the rest of the day after I finally got in dusting, taking down the winter decorations, and putting up the general spring and St. Patrick's Day items. I might have held off until tomorrow, but Miss Ellie has an inspector from the county coming around to look at her property, including my apartment, and I want my home to look its best.

Work was steady, rather unusual for a Wednesday night. The worst that happened was an over-hyper dad put back a quarter of his order because he didn't have enough on the two credit cards he had. I don't know what was up with that guy - kids aren't the only ones who overdose on sugar, I guess. Either that, or someone had about eighty cups of coffee before they went out.

I also picked up some hours on Saturday. One of the teenage boys asked me if I'd take his 1PM-6PM shift that day. That's fine. I was going to the Acme to go grocery shopping anyway. I just need to rearrange my errands for that day a bit.

Working Day

I slept so late, I barely had an hour to have breakfast, grab lunch, get dressed, and get to work! I wish I hadn't. Work is so depressing. It was surprisingly steady for a middle-of-the-week day, with a fair amount of obnoxious people. I really, really wish people would just read signs. One lady must have taken her big bag of crab legs off and on the order twice before she finally decided against them.

I really don't like work. I know what everyone is going to say. "It's a JOB! There's a RECESSION! You can't hate your job when no one else has one! It's security! It's money in the bank! That's all that matters!"

I'm sorry...but it does matter. I'm going crazy. This isn't what I want to do for the rest of my life. I feel useless. I wish I had some useful skills. I want to make things. I want to write things. I want to build things. I don't want to listen to people whine while pushing their food around. I wish I had the courage to look for a real job, to ask principals for a library assistant job or a job as a substitute teacher, or to ask local bakeries for jobs.

Alas, I don't know any teachers to ask, and most schools are downsizing. Alas, most of the local bakeries are family-run and likely won't accept anyone outside of the family who isn't a friend of a friend of a friend's friend. Most magazines and newspapers are cutting back, not adding more. Who would hire me when no one is hiring anybody? If I couldn't get a job seven years ago, when the market was better, why should I think I could get one now?

Family Matters

Today was laundry day. Uncle Ken and Dolores were the only ones home when I got in, doing paperwork and resting. Uncle Ken is still recovering from surgery that apparently took four hours and really left him hurting. Dolores says Samantha has been coming over every day to sit with him and talk to him, bring along her 3-year-old daughter Faith.

I had a lovely time with Faith. With Dad and Jodie taking a long weekend vising friends in Cape May, we were free to watch Dora the Explorer, Go Diego Go!, and The Backyardigans. Dora and Boots looked for the source of a strange sound in the first episode (I guessed correctly that it was Benny the Bull's hiccups) and tracked down all the animals in an alphabet book in a mystery-themed second episode. Diego helped his African friend find two lost baby gorillas who were about to be crowned King of the Mountain Gorillas. The Backyardigans was one I'd seen before - in a spoof of Star Trek, Tasha, Austin, and Uniqua are galactic trash gatherers, searching for new frontiers in stuff people throw away. Klingons Tyrone and Pablo are determined to steal their garbage to run their ship!

Faith herself was adorable, especially when she got up and "tip-toed" along with Dora and Boots as they tried to get around the sleeping Swiper the Fox! Apparently, Boots is her favorite Dora character.

I went home with my laundry shortly after Samantha left to put Faith down for her nap. Most of my socks weren't dry - I had to hang them up while I got ready for work.

Work was very busy, especially for a Monday. The only real problem was when a lady's stuffed pork chops didn't come off buy-one-get-one-free. I thought she might have looked at the sign wrong, but it turns out they WERE on sale - the meat department hadn't fixed the prices so they were listed as being on sale! I did give it to her, and I felt more than a little embarrassed for not believing her. I went and looked myself, but apparently they were being kept closer to the seafood department, because I didn't see them with the other pork items.

Late Riser

Between Daylight Savings and staying up late last night, I wasn't up this morning until well after 10. I made apple-chocolate-chip pancakes and listened to the WOGL Brunch With the Beatles show. ("Songs released in the spring" was the theme today.) I called the family in Cape May County after I finished brunch. I got my brother Keefe. He was fine, other than a runny nose. He and Mom were about to go out and buy chocolate cookies for him. Apparently, my stepfather ate most of the two pounds of chocolate-covered cookies Keefe's girlfriend gave him for Valentine's Day.

I spent the rest of the afternoon after the Beatles ended working on editing this month's Monkees story, which we finished last night. Look for it tonight or early this week!

It was still warm this afternoon when I went to work, well over 70s degrees, cloudy, and humid. It was still warm, humid, and cloudy when I got out. Work was busy, but nothing unusual for a Sunday afternoon. Everyone was on time and I had no trouble getting in or out.

Springing Into Spring

Began a gorgeous Saturday with cartoons. Strawberry Shortcake was a repeat, the episode about the kids having a pet show and Peppermint Fizz cheats, but the Adventures In Care-A-Lot was new to me. The first half in particular really struck a nerve. True Heart Bear does a major slapstick trip all over Care-A-Lot, prompting Tenderheart and Harmony Bear to tease her and call her "Stumbles." This upsets her badly, and she runs off. Oopsy Bear cheers her up by reminding her of all the times he's had major klutz moments. He finally convinces True Heart to tell the others that she doesn't appreciate the jokes, which she does. Harmony and Tenderheart realize what they did was really kind of mean, and they do apologize...until they learn exactly how Oopsy and True Heart felt when they have their own major klutz moment!

I've spent most of my life going through just what True Heart did. Teasing isn't always funny to the one who is on the receiving end. It really does hurt. Make sure the person (or bear) in question is laughing with you, not being laughed AT.

I ran a few short errands after Care Bears ended. Wal-Mart was a nut house, with incredibly long lines. I wanted a larger wrench to fix the chain on my blue stationary bike, but the individually packaged ones were TOO big, and the smaller ones only came in sets. I really need to find a Home Depot or a Lowes or larger hardware store.

After a brief stop at Staples, I headed to Fat Jack's, a local barbecue franchise, for lunch. One of this location's owners stopped in the Acme once and gave me and the bagger helping him coupons for a free sandwich. I decided to take him up on that offer. I got a free Pulled Pork Barbecue Sandwich and paid for a side of collard greens and a Diet Coke. The Collards were really salty, but otherwise, it was delicious. The Pulled Pork Sandwich was big, but not so much that I couldn't eat it in one sitting. They also didn't overload the barbecue sauce or the pork, and it all managed to stay on the bun and off my lap.

I made another quick stop, this time at the Acme for a small grocery trip (needed to restock oranges, grapefruit, bananas, and yogurt, and I was almost out of whole wheat flour), before heading home. I put everything away, then went right back out again. It was too nice of a day to hang around inside. Though it was cloudy, it was also incredibly warm, about 73 according to the sign outside the Beneficial Bank in Audubon. I went to the bank to deposit my paycheck, then just kept going down the White Horse Pike.

I ended up at some of my favorite Audubon shops. I didn't find anything I liked at Act Two Collectibles, but I did get the new WebKinz Robin from Willie the Woodsman and Wife and a used copy of the Beatles album Revolver from Bob at Abbie Road. I also treated myself to a smoothie at the Tree House Cafe and had a nice chat with the owner of Desserts By Design.

By this point, I was not only tired, but it was getting a bit cloudier and cooler. I was going to head home after I left Desserts By Design, but I realized half-way over the bridge going into Oaklyn that I'd left my sunglasses at the Tree House Cafe! Thank goodness the place was deserted and still open when I came back. The girl behind the counter was mopping the floor and hadn't even noticed them there.

When I finally did make it home, I finished up Kiss Me Kate and ran another Cole Porter MGM musical while I was eating dinner, The Pirate. One of the few musical swashbucklers, this one wasn't a success when first released in 1948 but is now considered to be something of a cult favorite. Judy Garland is a very romantic young lady in a Caribbean island in 1848 who longs for adventure and travel but finds herself engaged to her small town's fat and dull mayor. She dreams of being swept away by the Dread Pirate Maccoco, apparently a legend on the island. Gene Kelly is a traveling player who discovers her interest in the famous pirate and uses it to get her interested in HIM.

While I think it's cute, I can understand why it baffled audiences in 1948. It has an unusual quota of sex for an MGM musical, from Garland's slightly risque "Mack the Black" number to her desire for Maccoco to basically come and ravish her. This film, like Kiss Me Kate, also plays with the notion of theatrical artifice - what we really are versus what we appear to be.

The movie's probably best known today for the only standard to come from this score, "Be A Clown," which is used for not one, but two great numbers. The first showcases Kelly and the Nicholas Brothers doing some genuinely amazing acrobatic and dance tricks. The second ends the film on an odd - but very funny - note, as Kelly and Garland dress as clowns and entertain their new public...and the film viewers as well.

Ahh, and meet my new WebKinz Robin! I don't know what to call her yet. I don't think I'm going to adopt her tonight. They've apparently been having problems with adoptions at WebKinz World. She'll be the first to get the new Tree Top Room when I do!

Warming Up to Muffins

By the time I came home from my long walk yesterday, the snow was about half-gone, and melting fast. When I went outside to see if I had any mail (nope), it was nearly three-fourths gone. There is now almost no snow left anywhere, except for the usual dirty chunks along the highway and on parking lots that linger all winter. Today was about 55 degrees, sunny, and breezy but not gale-force wind. It's still a little too warm for this time of year, but it did manage to get rid of the snow. (The last time we had that much snow, it was around for weeks, thanks to a coating of ice that came down after it.) Looks like we may get some rain on Sunday night and Monday and it'll drop into a more normal mid-40s, but nothing like last week's storm!

Despite the decent weather, I spent most of the day inside. I really wasn't up to anything big after hiking around Camden County for most of yesterday. I read the books I took out of the library. I baked Brown Sugar Banana Muffins from the low-fat baking cookbook to get rid of two bruised bananas. (They came out quite nicely, too, moist and just sweet enough.)

I watched That's Entertainment III while reading and began Kiss Me Kate while the muffins were in the oven. The latter is MGM's version of the smash hit 1948 Cole Porter Broadway musical. Two sets of couples fight, fall for each other, and war again as they put on a musical version of Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew. Kathryn Grayson gets a rare chance to be the experienced leading lady instead of the sweet ingeune, and she relishes it; Howard Keel is great as her ham ex-husband. Ann Miller's "Too Darn Hot" is a sizzling delight, and she gets to join Tommy Rall for "Why Can't You Behave?" We also get a short bit of Bob Fosse choreography in "From This Moment On."

Actually, the reason my family watched this one a lot when I first got it as a teenager was it lead to many discussions on the role of men and women in society and what should be expected of both, and how their roles have changed. The "Battle of the Sexes" tends to get discussed a lot when your family is 4/6 female. Rose was dating a rather conservative fellow Mock Trial member at the time I got this movie, too - I remember how much they used to argue over it!

Work was busy during rush hour, but otherwise steady. I had another annoying chop shop guy. This one fussed and kept saying I'd rung up too many 12 packs of soda, but I know I rang up the amount he had. I once again sent him to customer service. He probably just wanted a freebie. Thankfully, my relief was early and I got in and out with no problems whatsoever.

Running On Ice

I'm dead tired. I spent most of the day on my feet. I tried fixing both bikes this morning. I'm not sure why the gears are skipping on the mountain bike, and I discovered that not only do I not have a large enough wrench to tighten the blue stationary bike, but the tarp, the bike, and the bike basket were frozen to the back wall of the house by a huge icicle! I didn't really want to mess with the mountain bike, either. That's too complicated for me. I just left both bikes at home and walked to Collingswood for today's counseling session.

Scott and I mostly discussed the events of the last month. I told him about my big tax return, about Uncle Ken coming home, talking to Scott about switching to the bakery, about weathering the storm earlier this week, and about the compliments I received for how I handled that annoying customer and his attempt to clear our sale inventory yesterday. My - and his - only problems is my continuing attempts to deal with my anxiety. It's not going well. My putting myself down is so ingrained, it's automatic. It's very hard to stop doing something that's been a knee-jerk reaction for most of your life. Even when your mind says it's not that big of a deal, instinct and fear tell you if you were normal, you wouldn't have made that mistake.

I spent the rest of the day running small errands in Collingswood and Westmont. I visited Erica at the thrift shop and said "hi." I had pizza at Cafe Antonio II in Collingswood. I bought one of the 60s Firestone Christmas records from the Collingswood Library. I made brief stops at Walgreens (no new WebKinz, just Lil' Tigers and Yorkies), the Dollar Plus next to the Westmont Acme (no more cheap holiday DVDs or videos), Super Fresh, and WaWa. I did this week's library volunteering and took out three books (two cookbooks and a Calvin and Hobbes comic book) and bought three children's books (a Strawberry Shortcake fairy tale, a Mickey Mouse hardback storybook, and a genuine vintage early 60s Yogi Bear Golden Book).

It was late when I finally got in. I watched The Big Broadcast of 1938 and read Calvin and Hobbes. I taped this one off of AMC when I was in college (probably one of the last genuine "classic" films they ever showed). It's more-or-less a goofy Paramount semi-revue - two cruise ships compete in a race, though we only focus on one, the S.S Gigantic, owned by WC Fields. Bob Hope is the radio announcer who's fondness for wives and gambling has him desperate for money. Dorothy Lamour is a guest on the ship who ends up in Hope's show, Shirley Ross is Hope's ex-wife, and Martha Raye is Fields' accident-prone daughter who breaks mirrors wherever she goes.

Not much substance to this one at all, and some truly weird "specialties," but necessary if you're a fan of Hope, Raye, and/or Fields. Fields and Raye have some nice moments (including Raye's amazing acrobatic dance with a group of sailors and Fields' airborne motorcycle), and Hope and Ross introduce what would become Hope's theme song, "Thanks For the Memory."

Trying Hard to Balance

Went to Yogawood on my own this morning; Rose couldn't go this time. It was a mid-sized class, about 10 people with the teacher, Jill. I'm getting somewhat better with the balancing. I was able to do the Warrior III pose, which involves standing on one foot with your arms out and your leg in the air, but had trouble with lifting one leg up and out. And I still can't do headstands. I just have a hard time trusting myself enough.

Made a brief stop at the Rite Aid a few doors down after class for some contact solution, then headed home. I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen. I was originally only going to do the bathroom today, but I didn't work until four and it takes me less than an hour to do the bathroom, so I got the kitchen in, too.

Work was a pain, and still a bit hard to get to. The roads are clear, but many sidewalks are still covered with ice, especially on the Black Horse Pike. My bikes are both acting weird, too. The handlebar on the mountain bike is coming out again (though it feels more tight) and the gears are skipping badly. The chain on the blue stationary bike is loose.

We're still getting annoying beginning-of-the-month people at work, and we usually get people buying cart loads of sale items for the chop shops in Camden late at night, too. I caught one guy trying to buy up the Kellogg's cereal and Pop Tarts on a big sale this week when he wanted to use coupons for the cereal that weren't for the cereal itself. Turns out he didn't actually get the full sale on the cereal, either, because he already bought two loads the day before and you only get one sale per order. I just sent him over to the customer service desk. I'm done playing games with these people. Buy your inventory from a warehouse or don't be in business. What you're doing is illegal and takes away inventory that people need for their families.

Beginning of the Month Blues

After working on editing some of the parts of this month's Monkees role play this morning (look for it towards the middle of the month), I spent the afternoon working. It wasn't fun. While we had more help than we have the past few days, it was still really busy...a rarity on a Tuesday in early March. Not helping matters were people who were cranky, obnoxious, or just plain annoying. I do with some of the older ladies weren't so fussy about bags...and that people would just learn to read prices, period. One lady held up the line for five minutes while a bagger checked a price...that turned out to be right all along. She just didn't read the darn price right! Another group of mothers left behind a quarter of their order because they miscalculated and couldn't afford what they had in their cart.

Though today was sunny and windless, it was also literally freezing cold. Half the snow that was slushy yesterday was icy today. It was almost impossible to ride on the sidewalks on the Black Horse Pike, which were covered with mountains of dirty, salty ice and snow.

Memories of Snow Days

It was snowing heavily when I went to bed last night...and still snowing when I awoke around 8:30 this morning. It would seem that yes, we and most of the East Coast got more than a foot of snow overnight and throughout the day. In fact, it was the sound of my neighbor shoveling my steps that finally got me out of bed. All schools in the Philadelphia and South Jersey area were closed (including Rutgers, Jessa's Catholic high school, and Lower Cape May Regional, where Keefe goes).

I called Mom shortly after I hopped out of bed. Yes, they got it too...worse than we did, for once. Mom was inside, doing some chores around the house. Dad and Keefe had gone to buy snow shovels. Apparently, their old shovels were in the last load of things from the garage in the old house that Daddy didn't feel like going back for.

My stepfather's always loved the snow. He'd be the first one up and out in it...and not just because he'd have to shovel his way out to go to work in the morning, either. Mom hates snow. She wouldn't go out in it unless Dad talked her into a sledding trip...and forget driving! Anny just doesn't like the outdoors, period. She'd never want to stay out for very long. Rose and Keefe, however, had no problems with jumping out of bed the moment Scott Waul said "Lower Cape May Regional School District closed" on the radio.

Mom would make us all eat breakfast, of course, no matter who was going out, probably big bowls of oatmeal or cream of wheat, or maybe scrambled eggs and cinnamon toast and orange slices. Then, it would be into layers - snow pants over tights, socks over tights, sweaters over turtlenecks, jackets over sweaters, plastic bags over socks to keep them dry, boots over plastic bags. Hats or earmuffs on heads - and don't forget your scarves!

Then, it would be out to the backyard for a snowball fight, or maybe to try to build a snowman or a snow fort, or even to just chase each other around the yard. We might pretend to be James Bond chasing bad-guys in the snow, or Han Solo and Luke Skywalker looking for Imperial spies on Hoth, or Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny eluding Elmer Fudd's gun.

When Dad came home from work, Mom would stick her head out and tell us it's the perfect time to shovel the sidewalk - if it's in North Cape May, we'd probably have to shovel the walk for our elderly neighbor Miss Ida, too. Not that we actually did a lot of shoveling. For every scoop that was actually removed from the sidewalk, another two would be thrown in someone's direction. Mom would come out to sweep the front stoop...and cluck at her husband and children and try to get them to do some real shoveling.

Then, we'd all bundle into the car - even Mom - and would go to the West Cape May Bridge to go sledding. The right side West Cape May Bridge going into Cape May borders a field, and it's one of the few places in flat Cape May County that anyone can go sledding. A dense crust of brush and trees keeps sledders out of the Cape May Canal. We'd all go down several times, sharing the long old plastic orange and blue sleds that we'd had for years. It was always mandatory that someone older had to go down with little Anny, and later Keefe - they were too young to go down on their own.

After we'd all gotten good and tired from sledding, it was home for lunch. Dad would go back to work, or if he didn't, he'd plop in front of the TV, snoring over soaps and re-runs for the rest of the afternoon. Us kids would enjoy a hot lunch, maybe grilled cheese heavy with butter and cheddar, or Mom's home-made chicken or potato and cheese soup. If we were up for it, we'd get back into our boots and go right back out again. I liked to go for walks up to WaWa on Bayshore when we lived in North Cape May and buy a soda or an Icee. When we lived in West Cape May, it might be a trip to 7-11 for an Chocolate Chip Ice Cream sandwich, maybe with Bridgitte, my best friend at the time, whose mother worked in 7-11 when we lived in West Cape May.

By the time dusk was spreading across the pearly skies over Cape May County, all six of us would be inside, playing a long board game like Life or Monopoly, or after about 1987, playing long fantasy RPG video games like "Final Fantasy" or "The Legend of Zelda." This would break up when Mom would say it was time for her to make dinner and Dad would want to go catch the news. If Anny or Keefe were still little, it would be time to put them down for a nap. Us older kids would go upstairs to play a shorter video game or a card game or play with toys until dinner.

I actually did get a nice walk in the snow in with Jessa this morning while my laundry was in the dryer. I really couldn't put off doing the laundry today. I desperately needed clean work clothes! My neighbor was nice enough to shovel my steps before he went to work, or I wouldn't have been going anywhere today at all.

Jess and I hiked through the ankle-deep snow drifts across the tracks to the park next-door to my apartment. It was really eerie and still. Few cars passed by. No trains chugged down the track between Hillcrest and Manor Avenues; no planes roared overhead. Most sounds were muffled, including our own voices. It was as if time had stopped. It was still snowing, too, quite heavily, and very windy. We walked the perimeter of the park, bouncing over snow that felt more like springy marshmallows in some places. When we got back to Dad's house, I walked down the steep hill in the backyard while Jessa went to get some heavier layers. I found a huge holly tree that had a nice little spot to sit down and watch the storm in. After Jessa came back out, we cleared the snow off her car, a huge old Buick, so she could go out sledding with a friend later.

When I got in from the laundry, I had lunch, cleaned off the snow that had accumulated on my steps since that morning, and added more salt. Dad drove me to work. I don't think I would have been able to get TO my bikes, much less ride on them today. It was still snowing and windy when we left, and I was worried about it getting cold and icing up later.

I was one of the only people who actually DID go to work. We had 18 call-outs today, mostly in the morning. By the time I went in, the kids who work late and were likely bored by this point were starting to trickle in. We ending up needing their help. It was surprisingly steady today, not insanely busy like yesterday, but not really dead, either.

Marshmallow World

It started to snow late last night, as Lauren and I were finishing up our daily chat. It continued to snow when I went to bed, and when I got up in the morning, there was at least two inches on the ground. It looked like fat, fluffy marshmallows had been dropped onto a hot cocoa world...and it melted just as fast. By the time I rode to work, there was almost no snow left on the ground, and water was dripping everywhere.

Work was a madhouse. Between the weather, this being the first day of the month, and the fact that we're normally busy on Sundays no matter what the weather conditions, the Acme was PACKED. There were long lines all day long, and it was only just starting to slow down when I finally left at 6:30.

I'm lucky I managed to get out a few minutes early. I felt a few teeny-tiny snow flakes on my nose as I rode down the White Horse Pike, but it was still windless and dry. Less than 20 minutes after I got home, the snow was coming down faster and thicker (though still not the blizzard conditions many of my customers were worried about). I think there's about an inch to two inches out there now. I heard were were supposed to get anywhere from 6 to 14 inches at work today.