Saturday, October 07, 2017

Six Impossible Things Before Dessert

Began a hazy and humid morning with breakfast and Garfield's Halloween Adventure. Garfield and Odie dress as pirates to do some trick-or-treat looting. The boat they take to find more houses lands them at an island that's the home of ghost pirates after their treasure. Now they have to get off that island, before those ghosts get them!

Headed out to Collingswood around 9:30. I didn't need much from the Farm Market, and maybe it's just as well. They were elbow-to-elbow by 10 AM. The Market's starting to show signs of coming to the end of its season - their last weekend is the Saturday before Thanksgiving. The booth with the cart filled with corn vanished once corn season ended; the one with the Chinese beans and heirloom tomatoes were gone, too. Brussels sprouts debuted this week; I picked up the last container of those, along with small Gala apples, and Asian (apple-shaped) pears on my way back.

Along with the Farm Market, today was Collingswood's Book Festival. Thank goodness it was bright and sunny, allowing them to be on Haddon Avenue again. They've been jammed in the Collingswood High School for the past couple of years due to rain. It was far easier to roam from table to table, admiring spreads of new books in every genre imaginable, from historical to science to science fiction to children's. The used book area was more spread-out, too, giving everyone far more room to root through boxes and over tables. The church on Haddon Avenue had its own used book sale, too.

While I'm a little disappointed that I didn't find as much as I have the past few years, I did pick up a few gems. My favorite find by far was a practically new collection of every fairy tale the Brothers Grimm ever put out - and I got it for a dollar. Also grabbed The House of the Seven Gables from the church book sale for 50 cents, and the first two books in the original Star Wars Thrawn trilogy from the early 90's, Heir to the Empire and The Last Command.

It's probably just as well that I had to rush home. It was warm and humid, and there's no shade on the part of Haddon Avenue where the used book sales are. I was sweating bullets by the time I got home. I barely had the time to put everything away, change, and grab a very quick lunch and drink before rushing off to work.

Despite it being my first 6-hour shift in months, it actually went pretty fast. I did two rounds of carts, but they really had plenty of help to do that. Did the inside trash, bagged, mopped the bathrooms, and shelved the very few returns that were there. Finished the night watering the potted mums on the patio outside the main entrance. This would have been easier if it didn't require a key to turn the water off and on. I haven't used such a long hose in years and didn't realize how much water I had to clear out of the hose before I was done...and then I couldn't figure out where the hose went! The bagger outside told me one door, and it turned out to be in another. I was almost late getting out.

After all that, I went straight home. Decided to try something different after having a really quick leftovers dinner. I had a can of condensed skim milk in the pantry that had been around for a little too long. I had to do something with it, but I had no idea what...until I found a recipe for simple uncooked fondant in Betty Crocker's Picture Cook Book. Mixed a ton of powdered sugar with the can of condensed milk; added vanilla and almond. The result was more like taffy, very pliable. I spooned it into balls, rolled the balls in coconut on a cookie sheet covered in parchment paper, and slid the sheet in the freezer.

Voila! I have my own coconut patties. They came out really nice, too, especially once they were in the freezer. Sweet, yes, and a bit grainy from the coconut, but very nice and chewy. It's such an easy recipe, I might end up giving variations on these away for Christmas along with my cookies this year.

Watched Alice Through the Looking Glass while I worked, and later when I went online. Alice Kingsleigh (Mia Wasikowsaka) has just returned from an exciting voyage to China to discover that her mother (Lindsay Duncan) has sold her father's ship to her former fiancee (Leo Bill) in order to retain her house. He's snide and condescending to her because of her gender, insisting she's not fit to be a ship captain. Angry, she runs off; catching sight of her now-butterfly friend from Underland (Alan Rickman). Following him through a mirror, she finds herself back in the wacky world of eternal tea parties and White Queens. But all is not well in Underland. The Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp) thinks he's found out what happened to his family. The White Queen (Anne Hathaway) suggests Alice goes back in time to save them. Time (Sasha Baron Cohen) doesn't like her doing this at all, especially when she steals his Chronosphere in order to travel through the time stream. Though he seems like a jerk at first, he's ultimately right. We can't really change the past...but we can do what we can today to make our future a little brighter.

Was this necessary? No, to the point where Tim Burton didn't direct it (though he did produce it). For all that, I did end up enjoying some of it. Cohen did wonders with Time, who is far less of a villain than you might think at first. Wasikowska did even better with the spirited Alice. The vibrant, wild animation is flat-out amazing. Also loved Danny Elfman's stirring score and Pink's rousing credits number "Just Like Fire."

The problem is...what does any of this have to do with Alice Through the Looking Glass? This is just barely an adaptation. At least the first movie used the characters and a lot of the situations from the books. This uses a few of the characters and almost nothing else. And why did it revolve around the Mad Hatter? I didn't give a darn where he came from in the first one, and I did even less after Depp's flat performance here.

Unless you're a huge fan of Depp, Cohen, or the first film, you're better off looking for "Just Like Fire" and the score online and skipping the rest of this colorful mess.

Ended the night with the only live-action version of Alice In Wonderland I currently own, Alice at the Palace. This recording of a stage show in the early 80's stars Meryl Streep as Alice, who finds herself in a strange music-hall Wonderland version of London. Every encounter with it's citizens brings in another pastiche number, from the White Knight (Mark Linn-Baker)'s pantomime to the Queen of Hearts' (Debbie Allen) showgirl flirtations. Fun show if you can find it and are a fan of Streep, the cast, or stage musicals.

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