Little Girl Blue

The day wasn't very exciting in general. I did forget to set the clocks back this morning. I got up around what I thought was 10:30. I switched on the radio, expecting to hear Brunch With the Beatles...but the Elvis show was still on! I did fix the clocks, then wrote in my journal until the Beatles came on.

Listened to the Beatles as I made Banana Pancakes for breakfast. The Beatles' movie career was in the spotlight today. They played songs from all five Beatles movies - A Hard Day's Night, Help!, Magical Mystery Tour, Yellow Submarine, and the documentary Let It Be. I tried to call Mom, but didn't get her. I figured she was out with my dad.

I spent the next few hours reading and a little bored. I finally took Molly and Felicity downstairs to get photos of them "helping" me clean up the yard, but the batteries in my camera went out. I picked them up and went for a quick walk in the park instead. While the trees around my apartment are turning amazing shades of yellow and gold, for some reasons, a lot of the ones in the park haven't turned yet. Thankfully, the park seems to have been spared the worst of the storm damage. I saw one spindly tree down and lots of leaves and branches, but otherwise no real mess.

After I got home, I decided it was time to change the sheets on my bed. I made the bed, then set up the dolls and pillows. I'd just gone online to post my pictures when Rose called. She was worried about me. My financial problems had gotten around. Why hadn't I told anyone? They said they would have helped. And did I still have a job at the Acme? Of course I do! She still insisted I call them tomorrow. I also called Andrew, my landlord, and told him about my lack of cash. He said to pay when I could.

Mom said pretty much the same thing when she called a while later. She wasn't happy to begin with. She'd had to deal with my stepfather for a lot of the afternoon. I didn't mean to yell at her, but I wish I could explain things better. I appreciate all the money they're giving me, but it's making me feel horribly guilty. I don't want people to throw money at me. I just want to be a normal, independent adult who doesn't have to run to Mommy and Daddy every time there's trouble. I want to be able to use my real talents to do a real job.

I wanted so badly to prove to everyone that I could find writing jobs, and I blew it. I haven't done a single useful thing in the past month. I feel so, so bad.