Saturday, May 04, 2019

The Working Menace

Kicked off a cloudy, humid morning with a quick breakfast and an episode of Tiny Toon Adventures in honor of Star Wars Day. Plucky Duck becomes "A Quack In the Quarks" when two alien "exchange students" believe his boasting about his academic and athletic prowess and take him aboard their ship, hoping he'll help them fight against the evil Duck Vader. Hamton, Buster, and Babs witness the abduction and borrow the ship from Duck Dodgers to go after him.

I wish I'd stayed with the Toons. Work was crazy today. This is one of the busiest weekends of the spring season. Along with Star Wars Day, tomorrow is Cinco Del Mayo, and the Kentucky Derby is this weekend. It's also still the beginning of the month. Most local high schools either just had their proms or are about to have them, and the kids are still celebrating. It's the height of spring sports season, too. I'd try to shelve candy or get outside to do carts, only to get called back in to take a register and panic. Everyone says I do fine, but all I did was make a mess.

I couldn't have been happier to dash home the moment work ended. Went straight into writing. Luke may be upset about Ben's death, but Harris has a way to avenge him. His van the Falcon can not only fly, but it shoots laser guns too, via paddles from Pong game consoles. Leia uses her fire power to get rid of them, while Luke and Rudy do the shooting. Harris and Luke are both quite enamored of Leia, despite her low opinion of the former, but Harris would rather needle Luke than admit it.

Broke for dinner at quarter after 6. Had leftovers, then decided to try a different brownie recipe. I had a can of evaporated milk that was almost expired. I used a recipe that required melting butter and chocolate in milk. Came out quite well, actually, fudgy and not too sweet. Since I had a lot of milk leftover, I added eggs, skim milk, vanilla, and sugar and made ice milk in a pan in the freezer. (That didn't come out too badly, either.)

Watched The Phantom Menace as I worked in honor of its 20th anniversary. Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson) and his padawan (student) Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan MacGregor) are at Naboo to make a simple treaty with the Trade Federation when they're attacked by droids. Escaping to Naboo, they encounter clumsy Gungan native Jar Jar Binks (Ahmed Best). They head to his underwater home to try to get his ruler Boss Nass (Brian Blessed) to help them, but Nass believes that the humans who live on the surface believe they're better than them.

After escaping the city and several sea monsters, they rescue Naboo's Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman) and her entourage, only to become stranded on the backwater desert planet of Tatoonie. Nine-year-old Anakin Skywalker (Jake Lloyd) agrees to enter his pod racer in a local rally in order to earn the money they need for a new hyperdrive. Qui-Gon is convinced that the boy could become a Jedi, but the Council, including Yoda (voice of Frank Oz) is not impressed. Meanwhile, the blockade is causing starvation on Naboo. It'll take a concentrated effort on the part of Gungans, humans, and Jedi alike to break the blocade and discover who the mysterious "Phantom Menace" is behind the Sith Lord Darth Maul (Ray Park).

While I've softened a bit to the Prequels over the years, this is still my least-favorite Star Wars film. I don't even have problems with the things people usually complain about - namely, Jar Jar and young Anakin. Jar Jar isn't really that annoying, and Lloyd's fine. The plot is deadly dull, overly complicated, and doesn't really seem that connected to the rest of the series, and some of the dialogue is laughably stiff. I actually think it would have worked better if they'd started with Anakin as a teenager and focused more on his relationship with Qui-Gon, Padme, Obi-Wan (who barely appears), and his mother, and less on the boring blockade nonsense. I don't really care much about the pod race, either.

There are a few things about the movie that work. Neeson and MacGregor have wonderful chemistry. They elevate the movie whenever they're together and really make me wish that Qui-Gon had made it into at least Attack of the Clones. Brian Blessed is hilarious in his brief role as the genuinely nifty Boss Nass. The movie features on of John Williams' most underrated scores, notably the "Duel of the Fates" that underscores the Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan/Darth Maul fight. And for the little screen time he has, Darth Maul is a genuinely cool character, and the two lightsaber duels he figures into are just awesome. I also like the nice mix of practical and computer effects here; they've actually dated fairly well, especially compared to the all-CGI used in the remaining prequels.

I know a lot of people who grew up watching this on cable and DVD have fond memories of it, but I'm afraid the negatives outweigh the positives for me. I still say look up the lightsaber duels, pod race, and soundtrack online, but otherwise skip ahead to Attack of the Clones (which, while not that much better, is at least a little more connected with the rest of the series). This one is for hard-core fans and nostalgia nuts only.

Finished the night with Saludos Amigos and The Three Caballeros in honor of Cinco Del Mayo tomorrow. I go into more details about these wacky Donald Duck vehicles at my Musical Dreams Movie Reviews blog.

Saludos Amigos & The Three Caballeros

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