Began a late morning with a quick breakfast. Switched to making Chocolate Chip-Orange Muffins while watching The Care Bears Nutcracker. A young girl named Anna is upset when her best friend moves away, and she has no one besides her adventure-obsessed little brother to talk to. Funshine and Grumpy Bear come down to assure her that friends are always close to our hearts...but before they get far, a nutcracker doll jumps out of a hole, followed by a group of nasty rats. They eventually travel back through the hole to help the Nutcracker save the Land of Sweets from the rats and the evil Vizier.
Ran the unusual Rankin-Bass special The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold while getting ready to head out for the afternoon. This is the only holiday show I know of to mix Christmas stories and Irish mythology. A young sailor chops down a Christmas tree on a phantom Irish island, inadvertently releasing a banshee. The banshee wants the gold of the little leprechaun (Art Carney) who lives on the island. If she doesn't get it by Christmas morning, she'll turn into tears and wash away. She tries tricking the leprechaun's family, then the young sailor. It's the latter that finally brings the leprechauns back together and teaches them the importance of forgiveness.
First stop on my schedule today was the Oaklyn Library. The librarians were working on last-minute details for the baskets they're going to auction at the American Legion building down the block on Saturday. I ignored their chatter about politics on CNN and worked on organizing DVDs and picture books in the kids' area.
Went straight from there to Haddonfield. Had enough time to quickly pop into the CVS on King's Highway to see if they had the Pantene curl formula. Yes, but it's not on sale this week. I moved on after a few minutes and just decided to actually make it to counseling a bit early this time.
I was mainly there for counseling. On one hand, my November has largely been going well, and Halloween was a lot of fun. The trouble is, while I'm making more money at work than I figured I would be, it's still not enough. I did finish that game show essay...that took me over two months to write. It's hard for me to focus, especially when I'm online.
I'm frustrated with my lack of progress on the job front. I get so nervous when I look up jobs online! It's easier for me to write an essay about my feelings than to sell myself or talk up myself. I'll look at the job descriptions, see that they need more experience than I have or abilities that I don't have, and I don't even bother with them. I also have a hard time separating a large goal - like finding a job - into smaller tasks. I get an idea, then get overwhelmed when I try to implement it. Happens with my stories, too. I have these huge ideas (like the fairy tale thing I'm doing now), and no idea of how to break them down into smaller ideas. Every time I try, it never works out.
Mrs. Stahl suggested I might have high-functioning autism. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I still don't think I have anything besides stress and cripplingly low confidence. All I want to know is how I can build up my confidence and push through my fear, so I can do what I love and make enough money from it to live.
(Incidentally, we're not going to be getting together again until late January. We both have too much going on next month for me to run up here.)
I cheered myself up with a tall Iced Matcha Green Tea Latte at the Starbucks a block from Mrs. Stahl's office. I literally just missed the crowd. Less than ten minutes after I ordered my tea, there was a line of kids just out of school asking for hot chocolate and iced tea. I enjoyed my treat on a soft leather armchair in the large back room, watching a fire in the tinsel-swagged fireplace as kids chattered and teens and adults worked on their phones and laptops.
Went straight home after I left Starbucks. Took the long way across Newton Lake Park to avoid the beginnings of the rush hour traffic. By the time I got there, the sun was slowly sinking beyond the horizon, casting a golden glow over the dried flowers and bushes on the lakeside and the yellow leaves on the trees. Walked my bike up the hill to the Haddon Township Environmental Center and Museum, enjoying the quiet and crackling leaves under my feet.
Did a little bit of writing when I got home. Gene insists that he could find the merfolk...if his magic was working right. Malade drained most of it. Donald has his own way of finding them. He asks Bill the wolf to follow his nose. Bill does find something laying on the shore...
I was mostly doing research on laptops. I asked Dad and Jodie for a new laptop for Christmas. The keys on my old one stick, the lettering is worn off of the ones I use the most, and I know turtles who update faster. My current laptop is so old, it was made by Toshiba. They stopped making laptops in 2016. I compared prices on Amazon and sent Dad an email with three suggestions.
Jodie called me minutes after I sent off my email, asking if I'd seen it. Yes, I did, and yes, I'd sent a response. She then called me again to compliment me on my excellent writing, even in an email. It was nice to get such a sweet compliment.
Finished the night with leftovers and Everybody Sing. I go further into this early Judy Garland vehicle at my Musical Dreams Movie Reviews blog.
Everybody Sing
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