The Next Move

I'm still trying to decide what my next move should be. I really do want to find a job at a children's library, but I'm really nervous.

I'm afraid they'll just say "no" again and again, and I'll hit the same dead end I've been hitting for six years.

I'm trying to decide where else I can go. NOT another grocery store. Maybe FYE. There's one in the store behind the Acme where I work. The trouble there is, I won't get away from those obnoxious customers (they shop in that shopping center, too), I won't have the union backing me up, and I doubt the hours or pay would be any better.

The Philadelphia Borders and Barnes and Noble have made it quite clear that they want nothing to do with me. They've ignored me for almost a year.

I need to find scholarship or grant money to go back to school, find a good local school to go to, and figure out how I can go to school and work.

I need to know I'll actually get a job from this and not go through another six years of hell. I need to meet people who can make recommendations and suggestions and steer me in the right direction.

I wonder if any of the libraries in Philly would want me?

I wish there was an easier way of doing this. My stomach is all tied up in knots just thinking of all those applications I'll have to sign and interviews with fancy executives sitting behind big desks I'll have to go on!

How can I make the libraries and newspapers and bookstores see how serious I am about finding a job? What do I have to do to make them notice me?

Work was off-and-on today, not too bad other than some cranky customers. Really, if you have a big order, don't complain because I'm doing my job and pulling all those damn cans and boxes through! I'm not perfect and I can't do everything at once!