What To Do Next

First of all...darn it, the Philadelphia Eagles are losing to the New York Giants, at press time 16-3! Not good, especially coming after the Phillies' huge NL East win. Doesn't help that they're facing major rivals the Giants, either.

I just don't know what to do. I really want to get out of the Acme, but I don't know if any other retail outlet would pay me $11.40 an hour for non-management work. I really need that $11.40. I live alone and pay my own rent. I buy my own groceries and clothes.

I'd really rather work in a library, archive, or bookstore, but the bookstores in Philly are hell-bent on ignoring me and most libraries and archives probably require people with library science degrees, or at least an intern. I'd really rather work in an elementary school library, but once again, you probably need degrees. (Not to mention most schools nowadays are downsizing like crazy. That's how Mom lost her job with

I want to go to college, but I don't want to go crazy doing it. I'll look up colleges with masters courses in library science tomorrow and e-mail them. I need to get scholarship and grant money. Unlike my sister Rose, I don't want to be paying debts for the rest of my life.

I wish I knew what to say to Mom when I call her and we talk about my job options. She and Lauren must be ready to throttle me. We argue, and I end up with a dry mouth and a blank mind. She says I should ignore my customers and not let them bother me and just keep working there while I go through college because it's a steady job. Of course they bother me! How can I ignore that? Some obnoxious old man who comes through my line all the time was being a total clod, rude and grouchy and refusing to slide his stupid card through the slot. He's seen us do it a hundred times! It's not hard! I'm tired of him, and all the obnoxious, ignorant idiots like him.

I want to know I can do something besides work at a grocery store. I'm starting to think that's all I'm good for. I want to prove to everyone that I can work at a real job, not something that teenagers or mothers looking for a second income or desperate people with no education do.