Too Much Stress

Sigh. The day didn't begin that badly. For one thing, other than it remained windy, it was a little warmer than yesterday, with blue skies and a few clouds. Maybe I should have taken that as a sign. I watched some Max & Ruby. My favorites on the "Treehouse" set I took out were the two adorable fairy tale spoofs. Ruby is the title royal in "The Princess and the Marbles" when she explains to Max just how sensitive royalty is. Ruby and Louise are competing to be royalty - and for Grandma's attention - in "Ruby's Real Cinderella." But dust-covered Max turns out to be the only perfect fit for the glass slippers and the role.

It wasn't that bad at work at first, either. I even got to return carts when I first came in late this morning. It was a lovely morning for it. The wind was still pretty bad at that point, but not so much that it impeded my progress. I really like doing carts. It's a great way to get out in the fresh air (or at least as fresh as you get in a parking lot) and get some exercise in. I think I get a better work-out in pushing carts than I do at the gym!

The rest of the day wasn't as pleasant. We got much busier in the afternoon. Once again, the afternoon help called out, leaving us desperately short. She called out tomorrow, too - family emergency. I ended up taking those late hours, despite having planned all week to use Friday for errands. I felt guilty about begging Easter off, especially after I found out one of my friends gave up her Easter to go in for me. I spent the later part of the evening stressed and frustrated and angry with myself.

I'm still stressed and angry with myself. I can't figure out what's wrong with me. I've been hard on myself at work and home. I can't write anything. I can't even get my Monkees fanfics going. Nothing interests me anymore. I haven't been into anything in ages. My classes petered out; I never even heard from the teacher. I don't want to take more classes until after Lauren visits next month.

Lauren's working on an ongoing project to record her family's ancestry. Most of her relatives are older, including her own parents, and she wants to know more about their stories while they're still with us. I wish I could figure out a project like that for me. The trouble is, every idea I get, from writing fantasy novels to running a business, never pans out. I get ideas and don't finish them. I'm afraid even if I do start a project, I'll do it for a little while, waste hundreds of dollars on it, then drop it when I get bored with it. I want something that I'll  never, ever get bored with.