I Won't Be Home For Christmas

I received some very disappointing news this morning while finishing my holiday baking (pumpkin muffins, cinnamon swirl bread, and for my landlady, cupcakes she can freeze for whenever she wants them). Rose called and asked me when I was working on Christmas Eve. I told her I hadn't had the chance to get my schedule and wasn't sure. She explained that Mom called and wanted us to leave early in the afternoon for North Cape May. I tried to point out that I would probably work until at least three or four, or even until our 6PM closing, but she said Mom was worried about everyone at her house being sick and the lack of Christmas decor and presents because of their move. I did call her right before work and told her I was working until 3:45, but it was still no dice; Mom wanted us there by 4PM for dinner. So, I'll be here Christmas Eve again.

This isn't the first time Dad's insisted on moving his family to a new home at one of the worst possible times of the year. We moved from Maryland Avenue in northern Cape May (a few blocks down from the Grand Hotel) to Park Boulevard in West Cape May, half-way across town, on New Year's Day 1990. That was an even bigger pain than this was; the girls and I were all pretty young then (I was about 11) and still expected toys and treats and things.

(One good thing did come out of that Christmas. We kept the two-foot fake tree Mom bought to appease our need for Christmas cheer for over a decade, putting it up in her room in West Cape May and the den in North Cape May and decorating it with her classic 50s pine cone-shaped ornaments.)

I don't care about trees and presents. I have those here. I just wanted to SEE them, talk to them, give them their gifts in person. I wanted to make them happy. I haven't seen the Cape May side of the family since July. I was really, really looking forward to this. I know this is babyish, but it just isn't fair. Besides, this may be the last time I see the house I spent my teen and college years in.

Work was long and a pain in the rear. Many people were obnoxious and grouchy (I guess they just got out of the malls). Though I enjoyed the store's Employee Christmas Party, I wish I had someone to talk to at work who was my age, single, and on their own. I feel like the only 28-year-old single woman who lives by herself in the entire Delaware Valley. The very few people around here who are my age are married or living with their parents or roommates or significant others.

I guess I'll just go for a walk Christmas Eve afternoon after work. I'll deliver the bread and cupcakes to my neighbors and landlady and look at Christmas lights, then go to my biological father's girlfriend's big Christmas Eve party. It was ok last year, but I always feel left out of those big affairs; I don't drink and don't handle crowds well. I'll go with Dad, Jodie, and my stepsister Jessa to Jodie's aunt's house for Christmas Day.