Did the usual library volunteering and Westmont errands this morning. I organized the cookbooks and home-improvement books at the library and took out a book on bread-baking basics, complete with huge pictures. One of the more annoying things about the Haddon Township Library is the checkpoint. People actually check your bags on entering. They don't always do this when they recognize people, but some folks are pushier than others about it. I'm assuming they do it because the library is on a bus route from Camden and occasionally gets city visitors.
There was some clouds and dampness held over from yesterday when I headed to the library, but by the time I went home, it was sunny, breezy, and about 60. Since I couldn't find a big bag of sponges at Dollar Tree, I walked to the Family Dollar on the White Horse Pike and bought them there instead, along with cheap Fig Newtons. I got out at the same time most of the local kids did. Older children walked home together, playing baseball and catch in their front yards, while younger ones walked with parents or grandparents. I even saw one of the boys from the Acme on his way to work.
I finished The Illusionist when I got in. Rose called shortly after that, and we headed to the Deptford Mall. She needed a suit and I need t-shirts, blouses, and capris. (All of my capris but one brown pair were too big for me, and the brown pair are getting there.) I got two shirts at buy one, get one 50% at New York & Company, and Rose bought an attractive gray suit and two silk blouses, one yellow, one white. I also got a pair of denim capris at Layne Bryant. (Whatever else you can say about them, they do make comfy jeans.) We had a quick dinner at the food court before heading home.
(By the way, the jeans were a good indication that, at least by Layne Bryant's estimation, I've dropped two pants sizes since our last shopping trip in November. I needed a 4 then; this time, I only needed a 2, the smallest jeans size they have.)
We had a long talk on the way to Deptford and back about joining classes, the possibility of my having Aspberger's, and our therapists. Rose suggested looking for forums for people with Asberger's and more first-hand accounts like the article Tina sent me and Look Me In The Eye. It's just a matter of getting past the total panic I feel when I look up groups, on or offline.
That's why I haven't joined anything. Every time I look up a writing group or a reading group online, I end up thinking "What am I doing? Who are these people? I don't know them. I'm so weird. They'll probably laugh at me or think I'm crazy. They'll stare at me like I'm some kind of odd creature."
She also suggested something else I have problems with - random bike rides. When I walk or ride my bike, it's because I have places to go. Oh, I love doing it, but I usually have a destination in mind. I really need to do more random just-walking or just-biking trips. I need to revive throwing my frisbee and hitting my field hockey ball around the park next-door, too. I'm looking forward to when Uncle Ken opens the pool in probably May or June; I love swimming, now that I don't have obnoxious childhood gym teachers in my head anymore.
On one hand, the thought of joining a group filled with total strangers terrifies me. I'm not sure about the Asberger's, either. I suspect Rose is right and it is more than sheer social anxiety,