What Casino are You Robbing New Year's Eve?

Started a sunny, chilly morning with computer work. I got a call from Shelly Stahl while I was online. She's booked until after the New Year, and then she's booked in the morning. I couldn't get an appointment until the 14th. Maybe it's just as well. I have other things on my mind right now.

One of those things is getting my Christmas presents done. I continued my current crocheting project while watching the original 1960 Ocean's 11. Same deal as the 2001 remake - Danny Ocean (Frank Sinatra) calls 10 of his old war buddies (among them Joey Bishop, Dean Martin, Peter Lawford, Sammy Davis Jr., and character actors Akim Tamrioff and Richard Conte) to pull off a heist at five of Las Vegas' biggest casinos. The heist goes off without a hitch, but as in all great schemes, there's a catch. A former crook turned straight (Cesar Romero)  wants in on the take or will turn them in. One of the men died shortly after the heist, and the boys want to give his widow some of the money, too.

This is one of the few movies where the remake is genuinely better. The original Ocean's 11 is really more of a two-hour party with the Rat Pack and their assorted friends and hangers-on than a crime caper. In fact, you don't really see much of the actual caper; the movie is too busy onstage with Sinatra, Martin, and the others. It's a tad bit campy, some of the dialogue is a bit corny, and the treatment of Davis and all the female characters is far from politically correct.

There's only two reasons to see this today, besides a glimpse of Sinatra at the height of his "Chairman of the Board" powers. First of all, it's a snapshot of a very different Vegas when it was the center of all things classy. In fact, of the five casinos featured in this movie, only two are still standing and in operation on the Strip at press time. The second is for the atmosphere. Like the remake, this movie oozes cool. You feel just a little bit more hip having watched it. There's also a nice variety of cameos, from Shirley MacLaine as a drunk girl who gives Martin a surprise kiss to Red Skelton as an irate gambler.

This is a must for fans of the Rat Pack or Vegas in all its 60s glory. Anyone looking for more action (or a more recent view of Vegas) will want to sign up with George Clooney and his 11 first.

Went for a walk after the movie ended. It was just a quick one down Manor and back around to West Clinton, going past the school. I was surprised to see so many kids already out at 1PM. Turns out the Oaklyn School got off early today, for some reason. It was a nice day to get off early. There was a blue sky and a nip in the air; it felt far nicer than it has for the past week.

When I got home, I had leftover lentil soup for lunch, ran the last of the Tom & Jerry Tales shorts, and headed out to work. Work was off and on busy through about 7PM, after which it died very quickly. I was in and out with no problems.

Yet another package had arrived when I got home. This time, it was from Lauren. She mainly gave me Three Stooges-related books, including two biographies on Larry Fine and The Three Stooges Cookbook. (The Stooges are her big thing this year.) Also in the package were gift cards for Barnes & Noble and Macy's and the new WebKinz Sapphire Pegasus. I thought she'd be a perfect mate for my Golden Pegasus, Helios. I named her Diana; she was moved into Heilos' World Cup Soccer room and will share it with him.

Red Planet Revolution

I spent the morning doing things around the apartment. First thing on my list was calling Shelly Stahl, the therapist in Haddonfield. Didn't get her. I'll try again later in the week. I also checked my temporary disability. The money I got yesterday will be my last from them. The partial unemployment money still hasn't arrived. I swept out the pantry and cleared a pile of papers from on top of my printer.

When my chores were finished, I ran John Carter and worked on my current crocheting project. Disney had high hopes for John Carter, but it was a huge bomb when it came out in March...and I'm not really sure why. This adaptation of the Edgar Rice Burroughs book A Princess of Mars takes the title character (Taylor Kirsch), a former Civil War captain who has vowed never to fight again, to the planet of Mars. He finds himself caught in another civil war, this between two human races and one lizard-like one. He befriends the lizard group, then falls for the princess (Lynn Collins) of the city of Helium. She's being married off to the head of the more war-like tribe and isn't happy about it one bit. Carter is desperate to return home - he just secured a cache of gold - but the longer her remains on Mars, the more he begins to realize how much he's come to care for the war-torn planet. Using the jumping powers he's gained from Mars' different gravity levels, he finally decides to open his heart...and discovers that a cause is more important than all the gold in the Wild West.

What did the critics not like about this again? I thought it was totally awesome. Ok, so the story is really complicated. You'll probably need to watch this two or three times to catch the names, titles, and even just get some idea of the back stories. Taylor Kirsch was a surprisingly gruff Carter; Lynn Collins was a wonderfully feisty and intelligent princess. And come on, haven't you ever wanted your own dog-lizard-thing who follows you everywhere? The special effects are absolutely amazing, too, especially the war ships.

If you are any kind of a sci-fi or pulp fiction fan, you owe yourself to see this movie. It has "cult favorite" written all over it. The long-running series of novels practically invented many action adventure cliches, influencing everything from Tarzan (Burroughs' other major series) to Superman to Flash Gordon.

After John Carter ended, I went for a walk. I didn't get very far before I saw two packages on front apartment porch. One was the present for my Secret Santa; the other was from Linda Young. The package had one intriguing present with Sailor Moon and "I Love Beatles" pins on it that is to be opened on Christmas Day, one very book-like package for Christmas Eve morning, and one for now. The "now" present turned out to be Tales Told Under the Christmas Tree, a nifty vintage collection of holiday stories, including a whole chapter on Hanukkah tales.

I did finally get to a quick walk after that. While the fog was gone, it was partly cloudy, chilly, and windy. I hiked down to Goff Avenue and back; didn't have the time to go anywhere else. The river had an austere beauty under the gray-blue skies, with the Ben Franklin Bridge clearly in the background despite the weather. I also saw Andrew helping out his mother at her house and gave the rest of the rent to him.

Made a quick Tuna Salad lunch while watching Tom & Jerry Tales shorts before heading to work. Work was very busy today, far more so than it has been. Fortunately,  it slowed down enough by 7PM for me to get off without a relief.

Fog & Order

I awoke to a very heavy white fog. I've never seen such heavy fog in December. Pea-soup or peanut butter, it obscured everything. It was a bit less damp by the time I was having breakfast and watching Wonder Woman, but it never really subsided. Wonder Woman did two episodes that were set during Christmas. I went with the slightly more holiday-ish one, "The Deadly Toys" from Season Two. When a top scientist is replaced by a look-a-like android, Diana Prince traces it to a toy shop in Washington DC. The shop is run by a creepy old man who can make life-like replicas of any human...including Wonder Woman!

I spent the rest of the morning doing things online. I updated my inventories and wrote two more quick flash fiction stories for Helium. I think they'll be my last posts there until after the holidays. From tomorrow through Christmas Day, I probably won't have a lot of time for writing. I have other things going on.

Had the last of the leftover Tex-Mex Black Bean Soup for lunch while watching another TV show Christmas episode. Laverne & Shirley also did two Christmas episodes. I have the one from the second season, "Oh Hear the Angel Voices." Carmine talks the girls, Lenny and Squiggy, Laverne's dad, and Mrs. Babish into appearing in his holiday variety show for hospital patients. What he didn't tell them is that they're performing in a mental hospital. Shirley freaks out; she's heard a few too many family stories about mental wards. Laverne's too busy flirting with the patients to be worried. The show goes fairly well...but there's a surprise from the patients at the end...

Rode over to Dad's for a really quick laundry session. Jodie was watching various Law & Order franchises on USA. I don't know how she and Dad do it. I don't mind watching one or two episodes when I visit them. These are good shows. But for hours on end, day after day? I'd get too depressed. These people never even crack a smile. I started another crocheted Christmas present while she puttered around online. Jessa came in during the second episode.

The laundry took longer than I thought it would. I just barely had enough time to hurry home, put everything away, change into my uniform, quickly pack dinner, and rush out. Work was pretty busy up through about 7PM, after which it died very fast. I was bored stiff by the time I got off.

Wet Victory

It was pouring when I awoke around 10AM. I wrote in my journal, then got dressed and put on Brunch With the Beatles. Rubber Soul was in the spotlight today. One of my favorite Beatles albums features great songs like "Girl," "Nowhere Man," "In My Life"," "Michelle," "Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)," and "Run For Your Life." We also got an alternate take of "I'm Looking Through You" and two hits that were released around this time but not included in the album, "Paperback Writer" and "We Can Work It Out."

I made Apple Cinnamon Pancakes and tried calling Mom. Had a very brief chat with her. Today was my youngest nephew Collyn's birthday (he's 4), and she was on her way out to help his mother with his party. After I got off with her, I wrote a story for Helium for an hour, until I switched from my Christmas CDs to the Eagles game on a local sports station, WIP.

I worked on something for friends while listening to the Eagles-Buccaneers game. It was the best game the Eagles have played in weeks. They were actually starting to come together. Their new rookie quarterback is really looking like a star. They were winning through the first quarter. By the time I was eating my hasty lunch of leftover lentil soup, Tampa Bay had started to catch up. They'd just moved past them as I was heading out  the door to work.

The game was on in the back room when I arrived. Though they were still losing when I got in, several customers told me they made a huge last-minute play that finally won them the game, 23-21. Otherwise, this was a pretty normal night, busy when I came in, quiet when I left. The Giants-New Orleans game was on during my break. The Giants were winning when I was watching, and apparently would continue to do so, ultimately taking the game 52-27.

Oh, and I got pretty lucky. The rain had stopped by the time I headed to work. It was just sprinkling when I got home, but it came down harder for a while after I got in. Doesn't sound like it's doing anything now.

When the River Meets the Sea

I started off this morning with a series of holiday specials. A Charlie Brown Christmas is the tale of Chuck's quest to find meaning amid the hurly-burly of holiday commercialism...and how a rather sad little tree and a speech from his best friend made him understand what makes Christmas special. The 1980s follow-up It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown is less linear. Peppermint Patty, Franklin, and Marcie get to join the fun in this series of skits revolving around various Yuletide events, from selling wreaths to seeing the Hallelujah Chorus.

I then went into two lesser-known Rankin-Bass specials. Frosty's Winter Wonderland is a 1976 follow-up to the original 1969 Frosty. Here, he gains a wife, Crystal...and an enemy, a jealous Jack Frost. 'Twas the Night Before Christmas is a tad bit more creative. When a brainy little mouse writes a letter to Santa calling him a "fraudulent lie," he rejects the entire town's letters. The town clockmaker tries to restore Santa's faith in them, but when his clock fails, can the little mouse set things right?

Switched to Hanna-Barbara as I worked on Christmas cards. In The Flinstones' Christmas Carol, Fred is playing Scrooge in a local production of the famous story...but he gets a tad too carried away with his role and forgets presents for his family and to pick up Pebbles at preschool. Wilma is fit to be tied. Not only is she the stage manager, but she has to deal with several other roles too, thanks to a flu bug that's going around. It takes a couple of ghosts - onstage and off - to remind Fred of what really means the most to him.

Fred's not the only bumbling dad who lost sight of the spirit of the season. Papa Bear also gets carried away with his tree hunt in The Bernstein Bears' Christmas Tree. He and the Cubs want to find the perfect Christmas tree...and like another famous 80s dad, they're determined to do it in the wilderness, not some overpriced lot. Every tree they find seems to be the home to some animal or the other. Not to mention, there's a blizzard brewing that may make the search even more difficult. Unlike Clark Grizwald, they never do find a tree, but the animals they spared have an even bigger surprise waiting for them at their house!

I did a few things online after getting my mail. I looked up a few ideas for a new coat at L.L Bean and Land's End's sites. I found a present for my Secret Santa at Amazon. After I got bored, I decided I was tired of everyone fussing over the baking. I made Banana-Chocolate Chip Cupcakes and ran Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas, my family's original copy taped off HBO sometime in the mid-late 80s.

Headed to work right after Emmett ended and the muffins came out. Work was steady for most of the night, up until about 7PM or so. After that, I mostly shelved candy and washed registers until it was time to head out. Needed sugar, too - the Acme's generic brand is pretty cheap.

(Oh, and I saw the very last of the Army-Navy Game in the back room. The Navy just barely pulled off a win, 17-13.)

An Old Fashioned Christmas

I was working on my journal in bed this morning when Mom called. First of all, she admitted that she couldn't find a rain coat for me. Ok, she's right about that. Rain coats are really more of a spring item. We'll save that idea for my birthday.

She suggested replacing my heavy black winter coat with something lighter as an alternate idea. I agree with that, too. Uncle Ken and Dolores gave that coat to me for Christmas in 2008. As much as I love it, she's right that it can be a pain. It's a beautiful coat, a London Fog, but it's about a size too big for me...and too big for everyone else. It's hard to move around in that coat. I tend to knock people and things over. I'd keep it for very cold days when a heavy coat is necessary, but normal winter weather in New Jersey doesn't really require something so thickly padded.

She also said she'd be willing to buy something for my Secret Santa recipient that I chose online and either send it to me to wrap myself, or just have it sent to her place. As much as I hate doing it (Christmas shopping should really be done offline - it's far more fun and meaningful that way), I really don't have the $30 to $50 that we're supposed to be spending on the Secret Santa. I told her I'd choose it and wrap it.

She was cool about the late arriving government money, but still pestered me about the apartment. "They'll throw you out! You've been late every month since July!" Yes, but I always paid, even when I had to borrow money. Andrew is a family friend...and he's not adverse to waiting or for me to pay him in small increments  As long as he gets it by the end of the month!

I'm beginning to agree with her about trying to get a hold of the Union regarding the schedule snafu at work, though. No one in the store is happy with the heavily cut hours. I tried calling the Union after I let her go, but I wasn't sure whom to ask for. I need to find my Union handbook, too. They keep telling me that they can't give me more hours because I'm "restricted." By what, an hour? I can work anywhere from 7AM to 10PM. I'm far from the only person who is "restricted," too. The college kids have classes to consider; parents and guardians have children to work around. Half the store is "restricted!"

I ignored the last of the rain that had been running all morning and headed out to the Acme as soon as I finished breakfast. I needed to pick up my paycheck and pick up a very small grocery order. I needed bananas, apples, wraps, and canned tomatoes. Blackberries were on a really cheap sale; they'll make great Flummery. I found a small container of shrimp for lunch. Much to my surprise, the dollar strawberry fruit spread was both cheaper and better for you than many of the brand names that cost twice as much. (I didn't buy them today, but there's fruit in glass jars in the dollar section that may also come in handy this winter.)

When I got in, I ran Sabrina. This is the original 1954 version of the tale of the young lady of the title (Audrey Hepburn) who returns to Long Island from a Paris cooking school having learned far more in the art of sophistication. Her new-found glamour turns the heads of both David (William Holden) and Linus Larrabee (Humphrey Bogart). She's had a crush on David from afar for years, but it wasn't until she came back from Paris that he noticed her. Linus, meanwhile, is the workaholic head of the family business who is trying to maneuver his brother into a marriage with the daughter of a businessman he wants to merge with. Sabrina thinks she's still in love with David, but when Linus starts taking her out to try to get her away from his brother, she has an unexpected change of heart.

Very sweet and romantic. Humphrey Bogart is really miscast as Linus; Harrison Ford was far more suited to this role in the 1995 remake. On the other hand, Audrey Hepburn shines in every frame she's in. In fact, Sabrina has a similar problem to My Fair Lady; she's no more convincing as a dowdy Long Island chauffeur's daughter whom no one notices than she is as a Cockney flower seller. Once she comes back from Paris, she's in far more accustomed territory. William Holden is also excellent as the playboy who learns a lesson in responsibility.

I came up with an idea at work tonight. I'm tired of being depressed and frustrated because my finances won't allow me to have a merry Christmas. I can't do anything - see my family, get together with one of my best friends, go into Philadelphia, buy gifts, really take part in the Secret Santa. Mom wants to end Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve at her house. She's tired of everyone only being able to come for one day and doing everything herself. The trouble is, first of all, like Amanda, she's afraid to drive up here, especially at night. Second, neither Rose nor Anny nor I have homes or kitchens large enough for parties.

You know what? I thought as I hung plastic bags on the bag holders. Forget this. I'm celebrating Christmas my way.

What I'd really like to do is have Christmas Eve at my apartment. Rose is already doing Christmas morning at hers. I'd invite Rose and her boys, Dad, and Jodie over here for a few hours of cookies, cake, maybe a platter of lunchmeats and rolls from the Dorias (I'll bet they'd give me a great price). I have lots of movies and music. It would be BYOL (bring your own liquor) of course, because I don't drink and can't afford fancy spirits. If I can make five different kinds of cookies, I can make cookies and a cake for six people. If Mom, Dad-Bill, and Anny and her boys want to come, fine. If not, that's on them.

I'll talk to Rose. I don't know if I'll be able to pull this off this year, but it's definitely something to keep in mind for next year.

Second, I can still do my baking. That's probably cheaper than buying most gifts, anyway. I already have many ingredients. There's only a few things I need. I'll split the cupcakes between a few people. Jodie will get her pudding pie and my neighbors will get bread, like always. I also have Christmas cards from last year; I just need to get stamps. Some folks will get hand-crocheted things. Isn't that what Christmas is all about, anyway? I'd rather give from the heart than from a wallet that can't handle it.

This week's schedule lifted my spirits even further. I have 24 hours this week, far more than I have for the last two weeks. Seems the boss finally got fed up with doing it on his own and asked for two other (female) managers to help out. Thankfully, I was one of the people done by the female managers.

(Oh, and at press time, it's pouring like mad out there. I think it's supposed to rain all weekend. Has been raining since at least a half-hour after I got in from work.)

It's Not Easy

I slept in again, then watched the Angelina Ballerina DVD I took out of the library during and after breakfast. As you can guess from the title Superstar Sisters, this one concentrates on Angelina and Polly. My favorite episode had Angelina, Gracie, AZ, and Alice putting on a dance-pantomime of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. They run into a stumbling block when they realize Alice is really too big to be playing Baby Bear. Meanwhile, Polly is upset because she hasn't grown as much as her older sister and her friends. She wants to be a "big girl," too. Polly discovers that it's not so bad to be small when Angelina and her buddies turn to her for help.

Spent a few hours working on that application. I needed to find numbers and addresses for Richard Stockton College's Media Center and the Lower Cape May Regional Transportation Center. I had a summer job at my high school's transportation office as a secretary from June through August 1996. Another girl and I recorded and filed the mileage for every bus in the fleet, then made copies of every single sheet. It wasn't the most exciting job, but the girl who worked with me was nice, and I liked my supervisor, Mrs. Brown. There were also a couple of boys who were supposed to be cleaning the interiors of the buses. I don't know how much cleaning they actually did. Two buses were still so dirty by August, us girls ended up pitching in and cleaning them ourselves...and doing a much better job.

(And much to my surprise, Mrs. Brown still seems to be working as the secretary for the Transportation Department.)

When I finally finished everything, I gathered my application, grabbed the two cartoon DVDs I've already watched, and headed out. Stopped at the mailbox to see if I had anything. There were two notices from the Unemployment Department. Both pretty much said the same thing - you're in the midst of processing. You'll get your first payment on December 19th. The 19th! I was counting on that next week! I was so disappointed.

I felt a little better as I rode across Newton River Park to the library. Though it was sunny again, it was chillier and windier than yesterday. Accordingly, there were far fewer people there, just a few folks out for a walk or pushing a stroller, and one flock of Canadian geese having a late lunch. I was in and out of the Haddon Township Library. The librarians said they'd send the application in their inter-office mail that would go out tomorrow.

Went to Tuesday Morning next. I decided I'd get at least a few presents there. I couldn't find anything for my Secret Santa or a book for Skylar. I did find something for Jessa and for Collyn. Was tempted by the pink 'Mazin' Hamster and a few kitchen items, but I'll wait until after Christmas when I have money and see if I still want them.

My next stop was Komfort Kare. This didn't go nearly as well. I did end up having to pay for the ankle brace. It seems Independence Blue Cross starts its year over December 1st, along with my deductible  On one hand, that means the deductible for this year is more than half-fulfilled. On the other hand, it also means I could have gotten the darn thing for free if I'd gotten my rear end over there before November 30th.

I was frustrated and angry when I finally rode home. I've made such a mess out of things. If I hadn't been in such a hurry to send out the Disability papers, I would have gotten the doctors to sign them, and I'd have that money now, not in two weeks. If I'd gone to Komfort Kare the week after Thanksgiving, I could have saved money.

I swung over to Dad's house, hoping Jodie or Jessa would be in. I needed to talk to someone. Thankfully, Jodie was there, along with a neighbor, Andy. Jodie was preparing for a night of poker and snacks with some friends of hers. We had a nice, long chat as she made Pigs In a Blanket and a cheese and pepperoni tray for her guests.

While I do feel a little better about things (and about having sent in that application), I'm frustrated over the way I've acted about the Unemployment and Disability, not to mention not having done all this sooner. As she pointed out, humans are creatures of habit. It's not easy for people to make major changes, especially when it's thrown in your face all at once.

When I got home, I cheered myself up with a delicious Lentil Soup recipe from the same Cooking Light cookbook I used for the Tex-Mex Black Bean Dip. Ran A Disney Channel Christmas while enjoying lentil soup and the last of the cauliflower. Disney Channel Christmas is a blending of two earlier Wonderful World of Disney holiday specials with some additional material. My family taped it somewhere between 1986 and 1988, and we've watched it every holiday since. I copied it for myself and my sister and her son last year, and I was thrilled to have it again.

Here's the YouTube link. I'm especially fond of the two theme songs imported from the original Wonderful World specials, "From All of Us to All of You" and "On Christmas Morning."

Don't touch that dial! Here's an additional Christmas episode of Mickey's House of Mouse, featuring their hilarious interpretation of The Nutcracker. 

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

But before we could have fun, this girl had to check on the status of her unemployment and disability benefits. I was dismayed when I logged onto the State of NJ's Temporary Disability page to discover that it'll take another two weeks for the money to go through! When I called them and asked why, when I'd already sent the papers, they said it was due to the volume of paperwork they receive. Even though I already sent some of the information, they have to process the rest of it. (You know, this would be a lot easier if they'd put it online.)

I then checked the status on my Unemployment funds. While they haven't paid out, either, they have a slightly more plausible reason. Apparently, anyone with Social Security numbers that end in an odd number get paid on Monday. Even numbers get paid on Tuesday. Guess whose SS card ends in an odd number? At least I won't have to wait quite as long for this.

Since I wanted to renew some DVDs anyway, I went over to the Camden County Library System's website to see if they had any job available. As it turned out, yes, they had a job listed, for Senior Library Assistant. Most of the requirements were things I could do or had done at the libraries. It was for 15 hours a week, about the same as I have at the Acme now, but for a somewhat increased salary.

There were two big questions. First of all, there's my travel problem. They say a car may be required in order to take occasional assignments at other branches. Most Camden County Library branches are either near bus routes or train routes. There's also the fact that the job was supposed to be for the new Rutgers-Camden Branch in downtown Camden. While the area around Rutgers itself is said to be fairly safe, Camden itself is not the place for a single woman on her own to be.

By that point, I'd been online for so long, I never got the chance to finish the application. I'll do it tomorrow. I wanted to go to the Haddon Township Library and return the remaining DVDs. It was a gorgeous day for a ride, too, chilly and windier than yesterday, but still sunny. This was reflected in the crowds in the park. It was much busier than usual, especially for late in the afternoon. I found myself dodging joggers, dog-walkers,  elderly couples out for a stroll, and at least two flocks of Canadian geese.

The library was busy, too. I helped a lot of people for the first time in months. One little boy was looking for Pokemon; I directed him to some of the newer series releases. Another said he was a Scooby Doo fan. I pointed out the newest Scooby Doo movie, Big-Top Scooby. I helped a mom look for The Blind Side (we never did find it). I also cleared a lot of foreign titles out of the adult ones. (And I agree with one of the librarians, who went looking for Tangled later for an inter-library loan. They either need to start weeding out some of the older DVDs or ones with multiple copies, or buy a second DVD holder.)

I found a huge pile of items to take out today. The Library finally had all but the first two books in the newest American Girl historical series. Caroline Alcott is a resilient and strong-willed young lady living in Sacketts Harbor in upstate New York during the War of 1812. She wants nothing more than to captain her own ship, but when her father is captured by the British, she finds herself having to help her mother and relatives at the family's shipyard in ways they could never have imagined.

Other book finds today include a book on journal-writing (I've been writing journals since I was 7, but I'm always looking for new ideas and ways to dig deeper), an Idiot's Guide to knitting and crocheting, and a self-help book on overcoming the stories we tell ourselves that hold us back. I found three interesting kids' DVDs (since I never did get to the adult titles last week) - another 2009 Angelina Ballerina title (this one focusing on the relationship between Polly and Angelina), How To Train Your Dragon: Gift of the Night Fury, and the newest Barbie As/In movie, Barbie As The Princess and the Popstar.

My first stop on the way home was Super Fresh. They didn't have the mouse traps I was looking for. I'll just get them at the Acme on Friday. I did get dried lentils to try and more of those yummy Gingerbread Peeps (which were on sale this time for 99 cents). By the time I got out, it was so late, I just ended up at Nick and Joe's Pizzeria around the corner from Dollar Tree. They were having a $4.99 mini hoagie special. I'm glad my Ham and Cheese Hoagie also came with lots of veggies stuffed in and a big pile of fries. I was starved.

When I finally got in, I worked on crocheting and ran Princess and the Popstar. The second Barbie variation on Prince and the Pauper moves the story to the current day. The ladies in question are goofy, rather immature Princess Victoria and harried singing diva Keira. Each imagine that the other has more time to do what they want and have more fun. When they discover that they each possess an item that can instantly change one's hair or clothing, they decide to change places for a few days, just to see what it would be like. While Tori gets to know her kingdom better, Keira discovers that being a princess isn't all its cracked up to be...but Tori's little sisters can be an awful lot of fun. Both girls find themselves having to rescue Tori's kingdom's magical diamond bush from Keira's obnoxious former manager, who thinks it's his ticket back to the big-time.

Very disappointing, especially after the last three or four specials came out so well. Tori is something of a silly brat; Keira and her desire for songwriting time comes off as a bit more realistic. I really wish it had concentrated on the girls, instead of shoehorning the subplot with the magical bush and annoying former manager in. The girls' magical objects were probably enough. Not horrible, but not great, either. I'd recommend seeking out the original Princess and the Pauper Artisan Barbie title for a better version of the same story.

Candle On the Water

It was an absolutely gorgeous day for running errands. The temperatures climbed into the mid-60s, from what the Beneficial Bank sign in Audubon said. The sky was blue, and it was breezy but not windy. Good thing it was such a nice day. The first thing on the queue was a must - getting the Foot and Ankle Center to fill out the other side of that paper. I called them and explained what happened, then rode up to Haddon Heights so they could fill it out. They were even nice enough to fax it to the Department of Labor right away.

I made a quick stop at the big CVS on King's Highway two doors down from the Foot and Ankle Center to look at their mouse traps. When they didn't have what I wanted, I grabbed the bike and headed back to Oaklyn. I stopped at the Library on the way home to do this week's volunteering. As some of the older ladies watched the recent film adaptation of the Andrew Lloyd Webber Phantom of the Opera, I organized adult and kids' DVDs and took a look at the kids' books.

Ran Good Eats episodes as I had a peanut butter and apricot preserves wrap and an apple for lunch. Alton covers two more frequent pantry favorites that are a bit more expensive but worth having around, cooking oils (including the then-popular nut oils) and molasses. (I swear, I will try that shoofly pie recipe one of these days. Considering we're not that far from Pennsylvania Dutch country, it's practically a requirement.)

After lunch, I went online quickly to check on my Temporary Disability and Partial Unemployment claims. As of 2:30, the Temporary Disability claim still hadn't gone through. Partial Unemployment had, but hadn't paid out yet. (I may have missed the pay date for that one.)

Next on the list was getting the laundry done. There wasn't anything resembling the load I had last week, but I did have my Acme uniform to do. Dad and Jodie were both at his house when I arrived. Dad was putting up his Christmas tree before he went back to another cruise ship job. Jodie was watching Law & Order on USA.

Dad always does an awesome job decorating the house...and now, with fewer people around, he can decorate even more of it. His huge (and real) tree, which used to go in the big picture window in the living room, is now in the den. Every window is surrounded by lights, cotton "snow," ropes of greenery, and Jessa's holiday Beanie Babies.

Went for a walk while the laundry was in the drier. Since it's in the neighborhood, I stopped at the Center for Art and Traditional Therapy while I was out. A few more people were listed as "in," but the majority were still out, including Lisa Perry. I'm tired of waiting for her. I'll call the therapist in Haddonfield tomorrow.

After I left the Center, I strolled around to WaWa and bought a pretzel, then back down the White Horse Pike and around to Newton. It was nearly 4:30, and the lights were just coming on many houses and businesses. I love all the festive, elaborate displays in Oaklyn. Special mention to the Little Bear Day Care Center on the White Horse Pike, who had hanging snowflakes that lit up and played Christmas music as the kids chased each other in the small playground in the side yard.

I did have that chat with Dad and Jodie when I returned. Dad's having problems of his own. He had to stick around for October and most of November to deal with Uncle Ken's funeral and everything that happened afterwards. That cost him several cruise ships job and quite a bit of money. He's not even sure it's worth keeping the house and may sell it eventually.

As for me, they both say I shouldn't have any problem with keeping my apartment as long as I give Andrew the rent sometime this month and don't get too backed up. Dad's known Andrew almost as long as Uncle Ken. They're friends of the family. It's a very different situation from Cape May County, where many rental houses and apartments are owned by people who live anywhere from 40 minutes to three hours away. In Oaklyn, most homes and apartments for rent outside of commercial apartment buildings are owned by locals.

They also agree with Lauren that, while I really need to discuss it with the therapist first, medication probably is not the best route for me. I do have problems with focus and procrastination...but so do a lot of people, including my own father. Social skills aren't that uncommon of a problem, either. I'll learn social skills with practice, not drugs. As for being off in my own world, that's called "zoning out," and it's also not uncommon. Once again, learning to deal with things comes with practice. When I get scared, it's a lot easier for me to cling to a fantasy than to face fears.

When I got home, I put the laundry away, then ran two more Good Eats episodes (on oranges and cranberries, both in season and popular at this time of year) while working on a crocheting project for Amanda.

I switched to Pete's Dragon while making a delicious Tex-Mex Black Bean Dip for dinner. This 1977 live action/animation hybrid is the third of Disney's hybrid musicals that attempted to ape Mary Poppins. The dragon in question is Elliot, the animated guardian of the very real little boy Pete (Sean Marshall). Pete's on the run from the nasty hillbilly family who adopted and abuse him, the Gogans (including Shelly Winters as the mother). He and Elliot end up in a small New England town, Passamaquaddy. Elliot's large size and playful nature does nothing but wreck havoc, and the two flee the town.

Fortunately, they're found by Nora (singer Helen Reddy), the daughter of the drunkard lighthouse keeper Lampy (Mickey Rooney). Nora takes a shine to Elliot, despite thinking his talk of dragons is nonsense. Lampy, however, firmly believes in Elliot...as do two scheming snake oil salesmen (Jim Dale and Red Buttons) who want bits and pieces of Elliot for their phony medicines.

This is an old nostalgic favorite of mine. A revival was one of the first movies my sisters and I saw in theaters as kids. I'm especially fond of the lovely score by Al Kasha and Joel Hirschhorn. The ballad "Candle on the Water" was nominated for an Oscar. Also of mention - the sweet duet for Reddy and Marshall, "It's Not Easy," Rooney's big comic production number "I Swear I Saw a Dragon," and Dale's "Money By the Pound." There's a terrific cast of character actors hamming it up all over the place as well. In addition to Buttons, Winters, Dale, and Rooney, we have Jim Backus as the town mayor, Jane Kean as the straight-laced teacher, and Jeff Conaway as one of the hillbillies.

The movie does have its flaws. Aside from Elliot, the special effects are rather obvious and badly done, especially compared to such then-special effects marvels as Star Wars and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. As with many musicals of the 60s and 70s, the plot is overlong and quite meandering. It doesn't really get anywhere until Dale and Buttons show up part-way through.

As much as I love this movie, unless you grew up with it as I did, you may be better off showing it to your kids first. It's a very sweet and old-fashioned family musical, and that's not to everyone's taste.

Head In the Clouds

I spent most of the morning finishing Maiden Voyage (finally!) and doing research. I need to understand why I have such a hard time talking to people. I get so nervous, I never know what to say, and as I've discovered lately, I almost always say the wrong thing. I'm scared to death that I'll do something wrong and make things worse than they already are. Has it ever occurred to anyone that I go inside my head a lot because it's preferable to the isolation and fear outside of it? I don't know how to meet other people in my situation. I have no idea where other quiet single 30-somethings spend their time. My closest friends live anywhere from 45 minutes to a whole continent away.

I watched more Good Eats on tofu, lentils, peas, and greens. Delighted by the greens, I decided to try a variation of my own to go with the last of my home-made chicken soup. I added two teaspoons each of olive oil, lime juice, and honey and sauteed one very large collard leaf (minus the woody stem) until they were wilted but not mush. I think I overdid the olive oil initially; otherwise it was extremely tasty, sweet and citrus-y all in one mouthful.

Stopped at the mailbox on my way out to pick up today's mail...and that's when I got a bombshell. Temporary Disability sent back those papers I'd been waiting for them to process. I was in such a hurry to get them out, I forgot to have the doctor sign them! No wonder it's taken so long for the money to go through. I feel like a total and complete idiot. I'll get the papers over to the Foot and Ankle Center first thing tomorrow. I hope they put them through this week. I desperately need that money. I'll never be able to pay my rent this month if I don't get it. Fifteen hours at the Acme won't pay my rent or get my Christmas shopping done.

Work was a pain. I know, I'm not allowed to say it's a pain, but it is. It's the beginning of the month, and we had all kinds of annoying and obnoxious people. Thankfully, it was quiet enough by the time I was done for me to leave without a relief.

A Walk In the Park

I slept in so late, it was quarter after 11 before I finally awoke, and nearly noon before I had my Banana Honey Pancakes for breakfast! I did get to hear most of the second half of Brunch With the Beatles. John Lennon, who was killed around this time in 1980, was in the spotlight today. Among the songs I heard were "Imagine," "If I Fell," and two classic solo efforts from his last album Double Fantasy, "Woman" and "Just Like Starting Over."

I had a long talk on the phone with Mom after brunch. She's really worried about me. I'm worried, too. I don't agree with everything she says, but some of it makes sense. One thing that did - trying dried beans as an alternative to pricier meats. It's not like I don't have the time to soak them.

Another one was making my own stock. I already make chicken stock. It might not be a bad idea to try vegetable stock, too.

I still don't like the idea of dropping baking entirely. First of all, baking items of all kinds are usually on huge sales at this time of year. Second, that's what I do for Christmas. I make cookies. Third, I enjoy it, and I've given up too many things that I enjoy already. I dropped the gym. I won't be doing yoga classes for a while. I can't go for rides and browse in stores, can't go to the malls, can't go on trips. I can't visit one of my best friends for Christmas or see my family on Christmas Eve. I can't even do much Christmas shopping.

While I don't mind the food stamps and partial unemployment, and am on the hunt for a therapist, I draw the line at medication. I know it works for Rose and for my nephew Skylar, but my problems are different. I think a lot of my problems are anxiety disorders stemming from long-time shyness and low self-esteem. That doesn't need drugs, just someone to talk to who is trained in dealing with anxiety disorders and focus problems.

I also figured out a big part of why I can't find a decent job. Looking at Monster.com last night, I realized how so many job posts, in addition to requiring anything from 2 to 10 years of experience, weighed heavily in favor of people who are social butterflies or work well in a team. I am not a social butterfly. I do not work well in a team. I hate the high-pressure job at the Acme. I'm trying to get away from stressful jobs, not go into another one. I don't talk to people well.

Mom's right that I do need to work on my social skills, and that's not something that medication is going to help. I've only been depressed lately because I've had a rough couple of months, and it's never been as damaging as it was for poor Rose. Talking to people who aren't demanding I bag the way they want it or make the sales item the price they want it to be will.

The other big question was what to do about the apartment. It's not like I haven't paid the rent. It's just been late. Mom says I should talk to Dad about moving into Uncle Ken's now-empty room, or move in with her and Dad in Cape May County.

I do need to talk to Dad-Bruce when he gets home. (He's currently at sea - he's a freelance cruise ship captain.) While moving in with him wouldn't be horrible, it's really a last-ditch idea. I have too much stuff to fit in his house. I'm not even considering Cape May County. Mom and Bill don't have that big of a house. As Mom pointed out, there really isn't much down there in the way of jobs (which is one of the reasons I left in the first place).

I already had plans to go online and apply for partial unemployment and to go for a walk. I usually go for a nice, long walk on the rare Sundays I'm off and there's no football game in the afternoon. I headed to Newton River Park after I finished with the application. It was sunny this morning, but by the time I was crossing the White Horse Pike near CVS, it had clouded over and was decidedly chillier.

It was still a pretty nice day for a stroll. It was cold, but not windy or bitter. There were quite a few other people out for a stroll, too. The leaves are almost all gone from the trees here. I admired the remaining trees and flowers and the seed pods remaining on many plants by the river. Many people had their dogs out; others pushed small children in strollers. Older kids rode bikes or played in their backyards.

It was starting to get dark as I climbed the steep stone steps up to East Clinton Avenue. Quite a few people were putting up their Christmas lights today. Many others have already done theirs. I really love looking at the holiday displays in the neighborhoods. There was one house that had elegant blue, white, and green decorations, including the wreath on the door and the beautiful sculpture swans on the lawn. Many houses had wreaths in the windows and on the door. I like the really sweet light-up wire sculptures of bears and reindeer. (Matt of Dinosaur Dracula managed to find one of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.) Even Matt's Santa Drac looks more elegant than inflatables that tend to be tacky and take up massive amounts of space. I made a really quick stop at WaWa for skim milk before returning home.

Still feeling depressed, I listened to the Carpenters and worked on a crocheting project for a while before having leftover chicken soup and a cheese wrap for dinner and switching to the infinitely more cheerful Good Eats. Two of Alton Brown's earliest episodes were on dried beans and dried pasta. The pasta didn't really have much more than how to boil it, but the beans episode did come with a few good recipes. I don't have a dutch oven and won't be able to try the "Once and Future Beans," (a variation on Boston Baked Beans), but the Black Bean Salad looks tasty, and I have made the hummus before. It's divine.