Down the Drain

Damn it, I lost one of my contacts today. I'm assuming it happened when I got so upset about half-way through my shift. A customer thought the larger Healthy Choice meals were on sale, but it was the smaller ones...and then a co-worker got mad when I told her I thought she should call Frozen Food and she said she should call Meat. I don't know why no one likes it when I apologize. I was holding up the line because I was getting everyone angry and upset, and then I couldn't help myself. I just started crying. The right eye was blurry after that. I was able to make it through my day, but I knew my contact was gone.

I'm so angry with myself. I'm DISGUSTED with myself. Why can't I just calm down and THINK and keep my mouth shut? Why can't I just do the right thing? If I hadn't gotten so upset and cried like a baby, I wouldn't have lost one of my contacts. America's Best wanted me to wear them for my follow-up appointment. What am I going to tell them? AND I kept going on and on and annoying people and embarrassed myself around customers. No wonder no one wants to hire me. No real job is going to hire someone who acts like a baby.

I wish I could do something that wouldn't get me mad. My morning was fine. I just calculated expenses from my vacation, sent out bills, and worked on editing Monkees role-play stories and writing. Why can't I just control myself and act like a normal adult? I'm the only person on the planet who would have gotten upset. Now I'll never get my contacts. It IS all my fault, no matter what everyone else says. It's ALWAYS my fault.