Gloomy Day

Today was dark and damp. We need the rain, but it didn't improve my mood. There's really only one thing I want this Christmas, and that's for everyone I love to be together, with me, in one place. Trouble is, everyone I love is so far away - in New England, in Georgia, in Cape May County, in Vineland and Wildwood and Colorado - and I can't get to them and most of them can't get to me and have families. I'm not sure I even want to visit my parents in Cape May County. I love them and I miss them, but they're moving. You don't visit people less than two weeks after they've moved!

I know a lot of people are alone on holidays, but I want to SEE them. I want to hear them, to talk to them, to BE with them. I want to sing Christmas carols and decorate the tree with people. I know, I know, everyone is there in spirit, I know gods are with me, etc. Why can't I feel that?

I'm not feeling very much in the holiday spirit right now, despite taking out A Child's Christmas In Wales and two rare holidays specials, Bugs Bunny's Looney Christmas Tales and How the Toys Saved Christmas from the Oaklyn Library. Work didn't improve my mood. We were short-staffed and two people called out. A good three-fourths of what's working now are teenagers who are nice kids but don't know what they're doing.