They Can Drive A Person Crazy

I'm going insane. And I'm going to apologize straight off for the tone of this post.

This has been such a lousy day. First of all, I got called in this morning...which wouldn't have been so bad, but I wanted to make it to Yogawood. Needless to say, I never did, which means I didn't get my yoga class in this week, for the first time since Christmas week.

Getting my bike fixed didn't go so well, either. I ran it over to Dad's. He was cleaning the pool when I came over and said he had a thousand things to do. He did change the tire on the bike...but when I tried to take it to work, the chain slipped off. Three times. Each time, I got more and more upset. I was able to do it myself the first time. A police officer and a construction worker who were fixing the gas and water pipes on Kendall Boulevard helped me the second time. A Kendall resident helped out the third time. I cried and carried on and behaved like a spoiled child. I'm so embarrassed. And what's worse, I was late to work.

Work was busy all day. I did get out of the register for about 20 minutes mid-way through the day, though. Two new cashiers were training up front, and I got to help one of them. (She did very well, too, only forgetting a few produce codes.)

Towards the end of the day, I got a large family who was buying a huge order. (From all the cleaning supplies and brooms, I wonder if they had just returned from a long vacation or moved into a new house?) They twice tried to pay by check, but the company that handles our check cashing system rejected both checks. They'd already taken their order outside by then...but they hadn't paid for it. The managers had to chase after them. I had a very long line and I felt horrible, even though the checks not going through wasn't my fault. I felt bad about letting them go, and I hate holding up the line. I hate it, even when people say they don't have a problem with waiting. I finally got one of the managers to cancel their order. (One of the managers told me later that they did finally pay by credit card.)

At least I got a free dinner. The head front end manager bought the two new recruits (who did pass their cashier test) and another manager pizza from a restaurant a few blocks down on the Black Horse Pike. They were nice enough to let me have a few slices while I was on my break...which meant I didn't have to run to Tu Se Bella's and buy my own slices after work. ;)

Speaking of "after work," I found a lot of great sales today (making up for not being able to go to the farm market this week). Dannon Light Yogurt cups were 50 cents each. I picked up a box of Whole Fruit Frozen Fruit Bars for $1.50 with the sale and a coupon. Cherries were a $1.29 a pound, plums 99 cents a pound. (Only this weekend, though.) Smart Balance Butter Blend was $2.50.

It had been sunny, hot, and humid since this morning, but clouds were gathering as I left work. I was passing by some neighbors who are friends of Dad and Uncle Ken's when my chain came off...again. The dad and two older sons were nice enough to help fix the chain and tighten the wheel. I was able to chat with the mother and her adorable baby girl (named Emma Rosemary), who was having her own problems. She'd just started a second job she hates - it doesn't leave her enough time for her Emma.

And my schedule next week is frustrating. While it's nice to have 31 hours, every day but Wednesday is 12 to 4, 5, or 6PM. Wednesday is 3 to 8. I only needed to skim the schedule to know what was going on. Half the store decided that they wanted to take their vacations this week. Why can't they be more organized about vacations? This happens every April, too. Everyone always wants to go away at the same time, which doesn't leave much help at home. We should do it like Lauren's bank does and everyone signs up for certain weeks, so they know in advance who can go when.

I'm just so frustrated. So few people understand. I tell them I hate the Acme job, and they say "Why? It's a JOB." But...I hate it. It's driving me crazy and making me miserable. I want a good, solid job where I actually feel like I'm making a difference. I want a regular schedule, not 23 hours this week...maybe, if they don't need me...and 31 hours next week. I want to be able to plan things like laundry, library volunteering, and yoga classes for certain days, instead of praying I might have the time for them, or tentatively posting these things and then having to tell people I can't make it because oops, the Acme called in and needs me.

I'm never going to get out. No one wants to hire a baby who always gets upset over everything. I have a headache and my stomach is in knots. I wish I knew what to do now. I need to find an interim job while I figure out how I'm going to afford college, but who's going to hire me for $11.80 an hour? Doesn't anyone in the South Jersey/Philadelphia area need a writer, an editor, or even someone to organize their DVD and book collection? Isn't anything ever going to go right?