What Is Thinking Positive?

I wasn't feeling a lot brighter than a gray, gloomy morning when I awoke. My week had been mostly a pain with a few bright spots, and what was I going to do about my job...again? I'd have to go job hunting again, and I hate that. It never seems to work out.

I had a long talk with Mom about this and her own problems. My brother Keefe isn't doing well in school. He's incredibly bright, but most subjects bore him, especially English. He's failing or almost failing many classes and can't take others because of his grades, plus Mom's worried about his poor reputation. He never turns in work on-time. He's not crazy about the whole high school clique thing, either.

I told Mom about all the trouble I had last week. She basically told me something everyone's said - be more positive. Everyone says I'm too down on myself. I just get so frustrated when things go wrong. I can't help it. It's how I've thought about things since I was a child. It's hard not to get down when there's trouble. I feel like I should have been better.

I took Mom's suggestion and wrote down all the good things about me that I could think of. They filled a page and a half of lined paper. It seems so strange to even write these things down. I know I'm good at organizing, baking, writing, reading, and remembering things. I can keep my house clean and myself fed. I can take care of dolls and stuffed animals that need a home. I ride my bike, recycle, and do my part to help our Earth. I'm good with kids and toys, kind to others, and I try to be helpful.

The Brunch With the Beatles show was done by the time we finished talking. ("The 'Paul Is Dead' Rumor" was the theme today. I don't know where people get such silly ideas. Was everyone in the 60s really that stoned?) I put together a beef stew for dinner and had yogurt for lunch, then started dusting my bedroom.

There's a couple of reasons I don't really do major dusting in the bedroom more often. First of all, it's a pain in the rear to dust under all of my collectible stuffed animals and dolls. Second, I tend to get VERY distracted by books when I dust. I'll pick up one book and open it for what I figure will be five minutes...and then jolt up a half-hour later and realize how much time I've wasted.

I got everything done but the Ikea shelves and heart shelves next to the computer desk, the ones with my Care Bears and Sailor Moon doll collection. I'll have to do that tomorrow. I want to clean the bathroom tomorrow, too.

I went for a quick walk to CVS to buy dish-washing liquid and more magic erasers, this time for my Efframbee, Rainbow Brite, and Sailor Moon dolls. When I got home, I listened to The Dress Circle and had my stew for dinner. Their theme tonight was "Songs With Questions In the Titles." My favorite by far was the hilarious Gershwin brothers number "What Causes That?" from the original cast of Crazy For You. Hard to believe this great number wasn't actually from the original show Girl Crazy. It was one of many songs from the 20s and 30s found in a trunk in Secaucus, New Jersey.