Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Out Of Place

I'm not really very good in groups, and family get-togethers make me nervous. Nobody ever knows everyone, or I don't know everyone. I don't know what to say to anyone over the age of 12. I feel out of place. No one else is ever all alone. They all have kids, or friends, or parents, or pets. They all talk about their jobs and their children. No one is ever single, and if they are single, they're dating or are much older than I am. I know Bruce and Ken don't mean to make me feel uncomfortable, but without football or something similar to distract me, I feel like a fifth wheel. Like I don't belong.

There were already people in the pool when I got there while my laundry was in the dryer, people I didn't know. Friends of Uncle Ken's girlfriend Dolores. I like Dolores a lot, but I felt weird around them. Later, some neighbors and their kids showed up to use the pool. I've only met them once. They were nice, but I'm not familiar with them.

I've been overeating a LOT lately, too. I've gone way over on Weight Watchers several days since I've returned, and I haven't been getting in the extra biking because of my sprained knee. That was part of the reason I initially turned down having dinner at Bruce and Ken's tonight. I've done it twice in a row, too. I did want to eat at home. I finally decided that chicken Parmesan and Caesar salad sounded good, and anyway I wanted to see my biological father open his (late) birthday present from Rose and me. Rose found him these gorgeous wine glasses and decanters in a variety of jewel-like colors. He's a wine connoisseur, and he loved them.

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