Out Of Focus

Got up early this morning so I could get to the bank and Doria's Deli for ham and still be able to do research on jobs and colleges before going to work at 2:30. I was going to spend most of the morning doing it, then do a little fooling around.

I, of course, ended up doing the other way around.

I have no ability to focus. This problem dates back to high school. I'd go to the library intending to work on a report and would end up reading that huge book on old movies they had, or The Time Life Book Of Christmas. It only got worse in college. The Richard Stockton College of New Jersey has a huge library, and I'd usually end up reading about folk tales or history or old movies when I was supposed to be studying or doing research. (Although I did discover some great books that way, including A Song In The Dark.)

It may make Rose angry, but this whole college thing is making me nervous. Where am I going to get letters of recommendation? I don't know anyone. Would Stockton even have my transcripts after seven years? My grades in college weren't all that great. I don't remember if I had a 3.0 anymore. (I guess I did. I graduated - barely.) I was never great at tests. Where am I going to take it? Could I work at their media center for credit, or at least for some real experience? I'm not going to get real experience at a grocery store, and that's all I've done for the past seven years.

I want to go to college...but I'm not sure if they'll want me. Or do I want to go to college? This is just so scary! It's hard to get people to understand. They think it's so easy. I just don't know.

I did finally make it to work, which was on-and-off busy with no problems. It's the end of the month, and coupled with a gorgeous day, many people were probably otherwise occupied. This should change by the end of this week, when people have beginning-of-the-month funds to spend and start stocking up for Super Bowl parties.