Tuesday, November 09, 2021

All Alone In the Dark

Began the morning with breakfast and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. It's "Thanks-a-Bunch Day," the day everyone at the Clubhouse has a big feast to give thanks. And it really is a big feast, thanks to Professor Von Drake making the fruit and veggies in Minnie's garden grow to giant sizes! After they figure out how to harvest flora as big as houses, there's plenty of leftovers. They eventually invite over a giant-sized friend to help finish them off. 

Work was an absolute pain in the rear and a literal pain in the lower body. I had no help today, not once in the 8 hours I worked. While the head manager did help push carts, I had to do everything else myself, all the sweeping, checking the bathrooms to make sure the toilets are working (two weren't), cleaning up spills inside and out, and putting cold items away. Oh, and sweeping and bathroom-checking have to be done every hour, on the hour. I was dead on my aching feet when I finished. 

And I checked my e-mail during my first break and discovered that Target rejected my application. I should have known I wasn't good enough for them. I'm not applying to anyone else until after I find a home. 

At least getting to and from work wasn't a problem. The morning driver took less than 3 minutes to arrive. The afternoon driver took 7. Neither drive home was long or difficult, with no traffic either way. Probably helped that it was a gorgeous day, in the mid-60's, sunny, and breezy.

I was surprised not to see Jodie's car in the driveway when I got in. I thought we were going out to dinner together while people looked at the house. I changed, made the bed, and vacuumed the floor while Match Game '75 was on, and I still didn't see her. She wasn't there by quarter of 6, so I just left. 

Called her when I hit the sidewalk. She didn't say where she was, but she did suggest I go to a neighbor's house until the prospective buyers left. I opted to walk down to West Clinton for dinner instead.

My first thought was pizza again, but I've done that the last two times I wanted a fast dinner, including on Halloween. Opted for a fat, juicy Swiss Mushroom Burger, salty, crispy fries, and iced tea at Oaklyn Manor Bar instead, watching Match Game '77 before the waitress came with my food. 

Went across the street afterwards for a pudding cup at The Puddin' Palace. Couldn't decide what I wanted, so I made my own Pumpkin Spice Deluxe with white cake and pumpkin spice pudding topped with Cinnamon Toast Crunch bits. Not bad, though the pudding tasted more like vanilla spice than pumpkin. 

Jodie and I got home at the same time. She came in shortly after. Basically, she repeated what she said yesterday. She's selling the house because it's too expensive to maintain, she's mad at Rose, understandably upset because her beloved husband died and she's had a rough year, and still claims no one cares about her feelings. And she doesn't understand why I don't push harder for my sisters to help me or for me to be more a part of their lives. 

And I still wish she'd actually listen to me about my feelings. I understand she's upset. I know she loved Dad. I know it was hard on her taking care of him with no help the last year of his life, especially during the pandemic. I wish I could explain myself better. Rose says "why doesn't Jodie help you, she's not doing anything." She's selling a huge 4-bedroom house while grieving for her husband. Jodie says "get Rose to help you, she's your sister, and she's not doing anything." She's studying to be a teacher while taking care of two kids, two dogs, two cats, a fish, and a household while her husband is just as swamped with work as I am. This is why I went with the realtors. They're paid to do this. 

I'd had enough. After Jodie went back to her side of the house, I lay on my bed and just bawled into the stuffed animals. I know, it's childish and silly of me, but I just couldn't handle it anymore. All the frustrated and anger and grief had to go somewhere. I took a bath after that, but to tell the truth, I'm too wound up for it to help much besides make me cleaner. 

Finished the night online with Meet the People. I go further into this wartime vehicle for Lucille Ball and Dick Powell at my Musical Dreams Movie Reviews blog.

Moved to YouTube later and watched the full Match Game '77 episode I had on before dinner. Richard Dawson's frustration with the judges finally boils over in this episode. He admits he wrote "sat on" for a question when he meant to write "ate" and was still buzzed. While it didn't result in a full-scale riot as it would a few weeks later, it's clear he's not terribly happy with judge Ira Skutch's decision. Even the use of The Price Is Right foghorn buzzer when Richard kept going on about it didn't elicit a chuckle. 

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