Friday, November 19, 2021

Starting Over Again

My phone awoke me around 8:30. I held off a half-hour to read before calling back. It was Rose, asking to help me apartment hunt. We finally agreed to get together after work. I'd take Uber to work, and she'd pick me up when I got off. 

Came in for the second half of the 70's Concentration on Buzzr as I ate breakfast. Apparently by 1977, Goodson-Todman expanded the Double Play bonus round. The winners still answer two rebuses in 10 seconds, but instead of just winning a car, they get to match up to three large prizes, including a car. It's sort of a mini-version of the Match the Prizes Board from Sale of the Century. After they choose their prizes, they answer those two rebuses.

No problems on the road. The Uber driver arrived in less than three minutes. I barely had the time to grab my lunch and rush out. 

We had some free turkey problems at work. The coupon is working, but some people either didn't get the right turkey or bought the turkey with the order, only to realize that the order gave them what they needed for the turkey and they had to buy it separately. One lady got so upset, I called a manager to deal with her. The others took it a lot better. Otherwise, we were on and off busy. I put candy away between customers. 

Got my schedule. I'm livid. Not only do I have to work Thanksgiving, but I work seven days in a row, including two 8 1/2 hour days in a row. I do have Wednesday and Friday off...but I think I'll call out Thanksgiving day and keep the extra two days. I'm not working that day, especially since I won't get to see my sister and her family on Christmas Day. I don't care about losing the holiday pay anymore. 

Thank goodness my relief was right on time. Rose arrived minutes after I got out. with Finley chattering away in her seat. We had a scary moment when a car pulled out in front of us while turning off to Nicholson Road and we were nearly rear-ended, but thankfully we were all right with no damage.

Once we got home, Rose let Finley play with her brother in the living room while watching Paw Patrol while we worked on the table. Finley joined us a bit later to cuddle up with her mother and try to play with her laptop and paper. 

Rose wasn't really happy with my organizational skills. She says I'm still living like a college student. I did write down apartments to look at, but I haven't updated the list because I've kept the e-mails in my e-mail box. I'm trying to keep up with whom I've e-mailed and applied to, but I keep forgetting, and I really hate making phone calls. I do write down my weekly schedule on my dry erase schedule and list what I plan to do each day, but not blocked out into each hour. I don't keep a planner because I don't usually have that much planned besides work and the occasional appointment I can write down on my schedule. 

I already intended to look into online classes for library sciences, and I would have done it a lot sooner if I hadn't had to look for a place. She suggested business courses, which also makes sense. I don't think I'll end up in a library, but I could work as a data analyst or an archivist for a museum or historian, all of which can be done online. And if I can't sell my writing, I could try another type of online business, maybe copywriting or something. I'm so much better at organizing things than thoughts. 

She's also concerned that the apartment buildings I'm looking at are kind of sketchy and that I'm not safe in Camden County. She's still pushing my living in Cape May County with Mom. No. That's the one thing I won't do. I'm not moving backwards, and I'm not living with my mother. It wouldn't work. We're too different, and we're used to living alone. Besides, first of all, Cape May County is way too expensive. Mom complains about that every time I talk to her. Second, Mom doesn't want to stay in Cape May County. She's talking about moving to Virginia to live with Keefe and his wife. Third, there's nothing down there. Terrible public transportation, lousy internet reception, a seasonal economy with little work, and it takes anywhere from 20 to 30 minutes or more to ride between towns. Rose means well, but I just can't do it. 

Thing is...I don't want to stay here, either. Unlike everyone else I know, though, I have no idea where I want to go. Rose and Anny want to move their tribes to family-oriented, semi-rural Hammonton. I don't really want to live in South Jersey anymore, but I'm not sure where I could be, or want to be, or what's right for me. 

Another place where I agree with Rose is finally getting in touch with that psychotherapist she and Jodie never called a while back or a similar one. I don't think Mrs. Stahl can do much more for me. I need more help than she can provide. I also think I don't have anything really major, but if nothing else, I do need help with my social skills if I want to get anywhere. 

I want to start over, which is how she put it, and re-write myself. I want to get to a place where I can live fully on my own, with no one in the family worrying about me all the time, and I can be called an adult. No one should have to take care of me but me. 

The kids came in around 6 PM, demanding dinner, and I was hungry too. Rose made excellent teriyaki chicken cutlets on an indoor grill. She says sometimes the grill doesn't cook it right and makes it rubbery (and Khai did report a half-rubbery piece), but mine was fine. Tons of pasta and roasted broccoli and cauliflower, too. I finished mine and had seconds. Finley cleared her plate. Khai wasn't a fan of the vegetables, but his mother convinced him to finish most of them. After all, they both still had huge bags of Halloween candy for dessert. (I had snickerdoodles at home. My Halloween candy is long gone.)

Rose finally drove me home around quarter of 8. Jodie came in shortly after with the eviction notice. Unfortunately, we got into a fight again. I tried to get her to extend it just a little while longer, but she's adamant about it being legal. She's also going between complaining about nowhere to stay, then insisting she'll be at her aunt's house when I tell her to look up apartments online. I think she's terrified to do anything online besides mess with Facebook. She wouldn't even touch YouTube when I suggested it to her last week. "I don't know how," she claimed. I think she does. She's just too scared and too used to her own ways and other people doing things for her to try. 

No comments: