Thursday, February 10, 2022

Another Part of Me

I was so frustrated after yesterday, I began the morning with phone calls. Called Kendall Court Apartments and the realtor Jessa mentioned to me and left messages. Called Volunteers of America. They directed me to a case manager who wasn't in. I left a message. Looked up the phone number for the apartment in Collingswood again and couldn't find it. Looked up apartments; didn't see anything I could afford. 

Hurried out to work shortly after. I needn't have rushed. We were steady when I arrived and off-and-on quiet for the rest of the afternoon. Even when we were steady, it wasn't that bad. It was just too nice of a day for people to be shopping. It was in the 50's and sunny, with a nice, soft breeze. 

Even with the nice day, I'm still feeling depressed. Nothing is going right. I'm about to lose my home and everything I love, and I put major strain on my relationships with my sister and stepmother. Every time I think I have a chance of getting an apartment, they go with someone else. I'm just not good enough. No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I am never good enough for anyone. I wish I knew how to convince people that I'm worth giving a chance to. 

Headed straight home after work. Once again, I did phone calls after I got in and changed. Yes, Anthony Pezzelle down the street still has an apartment open. It also won't be ready until March 31st, and there's at least five other people who are interested in it, too. Also checked for more apartments, and still found nothing. 

Broke for dinner at 6:30. Had leftovers for dinner while watching Match Game '78. Future talk show hostess Aphrodite Jones finished her time on the show...and her answers proved she was a far better hostess than she was a Match Game player. The others had even less luck with the Audience Match "Stamp Out __."

Gene decided to be cute and hide briefly as Match Game PM began. I cleaned up from dinner and listened to their antics, including Jon "Bowzer" Bauman in that ridiculous red and white bowtie again. Brett's happier to meet a fellow former Maine resident, while Bob Barker deals with another noisy audience and Brianne Leary helps the contestant with a 10,000 Head-to-Head for "__ Hockey."

Switched to Disney Plus for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse as I made peanut butter chocolate chip muffins. Mickey forgot that Valentine's Day is coming up, and now he has to make "A Surprise for Minnie" at the last minute. The others help him deliver it to her at the flower garden in Mickey Park and figure out what Donald should give Daisy.

Finished out the night online with the truly peculiar Moonwalker. I dive further into this extremely 80's vanity project for Michael Jackson at my Musical Dreams Movie Reviews blog. 


Helping Hand said...

Have you considered just renting 1 room in an otherwise shared house? Lots of people do that and it's much cheaper than renting an apartment:

Emma said...

My concern there was what to do with my furniture and books and things. I'm wondering if I could just put those things in storage and see if I could rent with a roommate, even for a few months, until I can get a better job and figure out what I'm doing. Either that, or they'd have to be a roommate who doesn't mind a few extra shelves and pots and pans and a desk.

Helping Hand said...

It might still be cheaper to rent a storage unit for your extra belongings and then rent a room this way. At least, cheaper than a whole apartment in this crazy market! Even if you don't stay there for a very long time it might be a good way to get through this year and give yourself more time to plan your next move. The room rentals are also good because they usually want people right away and aren't as severe about credit checks. Best of luck to you!

Emma said...

Also, my best friend visits for a week and a half, usually in May or June. I know it seems frivolous to most people to be worried about that, but she lives in another state and I don't get to see her often. She's one of the few people who really supports me right now.